I often wonder, and certainly do lump myself within this group, but, what does God really think of our service and worship? Many times, I approach altar of prayer or walk along my day with heaviness of a persuasive burden upon my heart. Yet, I make no real progress or honest attempt to correct whatever it might be that Lord is saying cause I am along on a journey and if I am not "ready" to tackle that "big" issue, well, surely God understands... I wonder if Blessed Christ took same latitude when he cried in agonistic abandon: 5"if there is some other way, Father, let this cup pass from me. Nevertheless, not not my will but thine be done..." (Personal Paraphrase)

Our faith is not some passive part of our lives that dwells in some corner of unimportance that we can take out at will and play with on Sunday or before a Eucharistic celebration. The Prophets spoke well on this subject and this man's heart is humbled as I read: 13 And Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw nigh unto me , and with their mouth and with their lips to honor me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear of me is a commandment of men which hath been taught them ; (Isaiah 29, ASV-1901) 31 And they come unto thee as people cometh, and they sit before thee as my people, and they hear thy words, but do them not; for with their mouth they show much love, but their heart goeth after their gain. (Ezekiel 33, ASV-1901) Even Christ echoes same: 7 Ye hypocrites, well did Isaiah prophesy of you, saying, 8 This people honoreth me with their lips; But their heart is far from me. 9 But in vain do they worship me,... (Matthew 15, ASV-1901) Doesn't God know imaginations of our heart and whether or not we are going follow Him to cross or no? I mean, are we not, at times, playing Russian Roulette with God of universe? I ask these rhetorical questions cause my own heart bows in conviction. You see, Jehovah knew what I was going to do with my tithe situation this morning. The conflict of my heart was no secret to him. Oh, sure, Pastor did not know and men taking offering had no idea whether or not I had given to God his part or not, But, God knew... And, I am afraid he knew, probably more than I, what I was going to do this day.

How often do we forget that He that watches over us neither slumber or sleeps. He knew us before we were born and named us in our mother's womb. Not a single hair of our head is lost before his ominous scrutiny. 3 ¶The eyes of Jehovah are in every place, Keeping watch upon evil and good. (Proverbs 15, ASV-1901) I am grateful this morning for his mercy. God's grace was given to me to help me make right choice. It was not me. Oh, no. There is none good. But, Christ within, God who directs my steps and makes level my path is One who gave this man dignity, belief in God, and resolve to do right. I take no credit, for as Prophet of old proclaimed, our righteousness is but filthy rags before an all powerful, sinless pure God.6

Christ, that lonely night some two thousand years ago, shared new and improved Passover meal with His disciples. He knew their hearts, all of them. He knew Judas was going to betray Him and Peter would deny Him and John would run, and all would forsake him before that very night was through. But, he chose to give Himself to men of untamed passions and imperfect character.

In some sense, is that not what table is still about today? I wrestled with a tithe issue, but, certainly, I was not alone this day. Are we not grateful for act, no, privilege of confession? Where we agree with God of universe who says 7there is none that doeth good, no, not one...

I didn't deserve to take that holy bread, wherein dwelt presence of broken body of my Savior. Nor was I worthy to dip my fingers into cup of his blood, shed for me. But, is that not point of table? We are all broken men and women, put back together by sacrifice of cross and given solemn privilege of confession. before Eucharist, who, in words of current Pope, is offered upon altar of world8, we cry aloud with Prophet Isaiah, "I am undone..."9

Confession, this day, was what I needed. Sure, I did what Lord required. we placed our tithe in offering plate and fulfilled our January obligation. But, without confession, it would have been nothing more than a mere tainted sacrifice, far removed from a heart of obedience. In confession, I found what Psalmist said to be true: 10"Jehovah is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart, And saveth such as are of a contrite spirit." Today, by genuine confession, through Eucharist Celebration, I feel as if Jehovah came close, nigh to this simple man.

Thanks be to Lord!

Footnotes: 1The United Methodist Hymnal: Book of United Methodist Worship; Copyright 1989; Confession and Pardon, Number 891 2Psalms 105:40, KJV 3Deuteronomy 29:5, KJV 41 Timothy 5:18, KJV 5Luke 22:42 6Isaiah 64:6, KJV 7Romans 3:12, KJV 8Encyclical Letter Eucharistia Ecclesia - John Paul II- Introduction, Section 9, Paragraph 1 9Isaiah 6:5; KJV 10Psalms 34:18, ASV-1901

Yet there are other “little” sins that Pope might not have had in mind during confession. Like three or four popes who every morning were cursing and calling one another antichrist, demons, adulterers, sodomists, and enemies of God and man, during Council of Constance. Like papal court being served at supper by twelve naked girls. Like female pope (call her a popess) who having been impregnated by one of her trusted attendants, gave birth to a child during a procession from St. Peter’s to Lateran.

The pope might have had “big” sins in mind. Such as Catholic support for Nazism and Fascism. Or introduction of slave trade by Church through Spanish monk Las Casas—the apostle of Indians. Or thousands that were crushed, burnt, choked to death or hanged on trees during notorious Inquisition. (No thanks to papal Bull “Ad exstirpanda.”) Then innumerable people that were slaughtered in crusades or five hundred helpless women that were burnt alive in a barn in Merindol, or of pitilessly murdered children. Or 10,000 Protestants massacred in Paris on St. Bartholomew’s Day in 1572 and of Pope Gregory XIII attending a thanksgiving service in Church of St. Louis and minting a coin with words “Ugonotorum Stranges 1572” (The slaughter of Huguenots 1572), to commemorate “great” event. Of course, there was Church’s active support for two world wars where millions of “Christian” soldiers were blessed to fight and die for fatherland.

On other hand, pope might have had both “small” and “big” sins in mind when he made “mea culpa.” As to whom he made confession, is another matter. Suffice it to say that pope said sorry.

So, even if new pope after Pope John Paul, were to attempt some reformation in irreformable Roman Catholic Church; or if he were to exhume Pope Formosus again and give him a papal burial, he has already been undone. For he did not say “forgive us our trespasses.”

In world of religion, there are some famous titles. Check these: The beloved disciple, Apostle John. The light of Asia, Siddhartha Gautama Budda. The seraphic doctor, St. Bonaventura. Defender of The Holy Sepulcher, Godfrey of Bouillon. The apostle of Northumbria, St. Aidan. Madonna, “Virgin” Mary. The lone voice crying in wilderness, John baptizer. And Great Teacher, Jesus Christ. To this list, we would add honest pope. His name? John Paul.

Now, to honest pope: goodbye!

Arthur Zulu is an editor, book reviewer, and author of Chasing Shadows!, How to Write a Best-seller, A Letter to Noah, and many others. For his works and free help for writers, goto:

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