Doing Less in More TimeWritten by Jan Marie Dore
Over years, compelling challenge of time, priorities, and life balance has been a frequently mentioned concern of individuals. Our lives have sped up so much that we often feel that we are losing track of who we are. And, in our rush to achieve ‘more’ in less time, things that really are most important to us seem to always drop to bottom of priority list. We often approach our daily to-do’s thinking that if we can just cross every completed task off our list, we might find some for important things, but – given complexity and demands of every-day life – most of us find it difficult to get everything done. You can certainly make a renewed effort to achieve more in less time, or you might actively work to discover real secret of life: how to do less in more time. How you spend your time reflects your priorities and what is important to you. Rather than composing your daily list of to-do’s list based on what seems most urgent, or what you’ve failed to do previous day, make sure you schedule at least one thing that reflects your personal values. Focusing attention on how you spend your time can bring new energy to every aspect of your life; instead of efficiency, aim for integration and balance in your life. As a life coach, I have often observed conflict that arises for people between Chronos time – time related to getting things done (agendas, tasks, schedules) – and Kyros time – time related to process, deep listening, relaxation, and understanding that time it takes is time it takes. Take a good look at your work habits. Are there ways you can restructure how you spend your time to be more productive in a shorter time period, to implement better ways of doing things, to see new approaches to performing tasks? When you have more space, you conversely have more time. If you clear any clutter in your living and workspaces, and create pleasing environments that inspire you, time will automatically feel expanded. The more time we can spend in Kyros time, more expansive and elastic time becomes. This is kind of time we lived in when we were children.
| | Addiction to BlameWritten by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as author resource box at end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.For other articles which you are free to use, see http://www.innerbonding.com Title: Addiction to Blame Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2004 by Margaret Paul URL: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 832 Category: Emotional Healing, Addiction Addiction to Blame By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years had threatened to leave him if he didn’t stop blaming her all time. He admitted to frequently blaming her in a variety of situations. He blamed her if he thought she made a mistake, if he thought she was wrong about something, if he was feeling alone, or even if he had a bad day at work. He blamed her for asking him questions when he didn’t know answer. He would sometimes even blame her if his golf game was off. He always blamed her when he felt judged by her, or when he didn’t get her approval. While he freely admitted that he blamed her, he couldn’t seem to stop, and he had no idea why he blamed her. As I explored various situations with Allen, it became apparent that he was not just blaming his wife. Allen was constantly blaming and judging himself. He would verbally beat himself up for mistakes, telling himself things like, “I’m such a jerk,” and would often say very negative things to himself, such as, “Things will never get any better,” or “I’m just a loser,” or “I’m a big disappointment to myself.” He would then feel angry and agitated as a result of abusing himself, but he never connected his anger with his self-judgment. Instead, he would dump his anger on his wife, or yell at other drivers on freeway. It became apparent to Allen that he would not be able to stop blaming his wife until he stopped blaming and judging himself. His addiction to blaming others was a direct result of his self-abuse. The problem was that Allen had learned to be very self-indulgent regarding his thoughts. He let his thoughts run rampant, never stopping to discern whether or not what he was telling himself was truth or was a lie. As a result, he was constantly allowing wounded part of himself, his ego self, to be in charge. And this part of him was filled with all lies he had learned in 46 years of his life. Allen was appalled when he realized that all his anger at others was really his anger at himself for abusing himself. He was projecting onto others what he was doing to himself. He saw that he was especially sensitive to others’ judgment because he was so judgmental of himself.
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