Does It Matter What You Wear?

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Personal and Professional Development Coach


Of course it does! We want to be appropriately and comfortably dressed so it isn’t distracting. How can you court your honey when your shirt collar is choking you? your waistband is too tight? How can you represent your client ifrepparttar judge doesn’t allow women lawyers to appear in court in pants? How can you enjoy touringrepparttar 101681 Turtle Farm on Barbados when it’s 95 degrees and you’ve got on polyester slacks? How can you workrepparttar 101682 Trade Show when your feet are killing you?

CLOTHING AS NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION Clothing can show:

· How much money you have · How you spend your money · Your values · How you take care of things · How organized you are · How creative you are · What profession or industry you're in · Whether you're a copy-cat or an original

ANALYZE THIS

It's easy to do -- clothing is all around us -- so spend some time analyzing. This is something you need to master.

It's been said "dress forrepparttar 101683 position you next want," so take a look around your office. Where arerepparttar 101684 lines drawn. How do you fit in?

Be mindful. Are you representing what you want to, and what you intend to? I’m thinking ofrepparttar 101685 mother at our children’s 8th grade outdoor morning graduation ceremony in spangles, cleavage, boa and dangly earrings. What look was she after, I wondered. She had achievedrepparttar 101686 “appearing nightly” look.

FIND OUT WHAT’S APPROPRIATE

The emotionally intelligent person plans ahead. When planning to travel on business, call a coach inrepparttar 101687 area you're going to.

Male lawyers in San Antonio, TX USA wear suspenders, while when my sister first started practicing law in D. C., judges did not permit women lawyers to wear pantsuits in court.

In San Antonio, TX there isn't much use for a coat rack. I had no idea when I got torepparttar 101688 Chicago Art Museum that I could check my coat and boots. There were lockers. How nice! But neither was I prepared for how hot they keep their buildings. People who come to San Antonio are never prepared for how icy we keep our buildings inrepparttar 101689 summer.

DOES IT REALLY MATTER?

Of course it does, because you want to be able to concentrate on what's really important.

You'll probably have a sense of what areas ofrepparttar 101690 country are different, and in which areas dress matters more than in others.

I had no idea for instance what to wear for a professional trip to Seattle, Washington (USA). Don't laugh, but all I'd seen in photos was lumber jackets and jeans. Of course YOU are not your CLOTHES, butrepparttar 101691 more comfortable I am,repparttar 101692 better I can do my job, andrepparttar 101693 more I'll enjoy myself. As my friend who didn't listen to me and took her bright floral patterned dresses to D. C. found out, there are good ways to stand out, and there are bad ways to stand out. Inrepparttar 101694 room of 300 people all wearing solid colors, she might as well have had a bone in her nose. She found it hard to get it out of her mind. That can takerepparttar 101695 edge off what you're about! FORGETTING

Where I live it is 98 for a good part ofrepparttar 101696 year, and then plummets allrepparttar 101697 way to, oh maybe freezing once in a while. It is said to snow once every ten years, but it’s been longer than that since last it did. Therefore, I forget what “cold” means. I know cold, I went to college in Minnesota but I forgetrepparttar 101698 feel of it. When I arrived in Duluth, MN in February and it was 40 below – honest degrees, not windchill – I was appalled. When you check with that coach, don't settle for "it's cold up here" or "it could be 40 below," ask them "what's should I bring?" and, as I did before going to Russia, "please tell me what it feesl like when it's 70 degrees with 100 percent humidity and wind blowing at X mph."

Key to Excellent Communication: Anticipation

Written by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology


Excellent communication. It’s what we’re all after, whenrepparttar first rule of communication is to assume you’ve been misunderstood.

We generally work very hard to express what we have in mind, and in giving instructions to go over each one step-by-step. We also try and listen carefully, and to repeat back what we think we’ve heard to be sure. And if we’re selling, we try an anticipate objections. But there’s one part that’s very helpful we often leave out.

I learned it from my Dad, a great communicator, when I was a teenager. I didn’t like to listen too closely, and often knew less than I thought I did. Like most teenagers. He was a gifted teacher, a patient and careful communicator, and convincing judges no doubt prepared him to convince teenage girls.

Now this will mean nothing to you if you haven’t driven from a northern suburb into Chicago on Lake Shore Drive, but I hope you can think of something similar in your own experience.

As you makerepparttar 101680 drive, there are several turns and then one big swing towardrepparttar 101681 Lake. If you live there and are at all ‘directional’, you always knowrepparttar 101682 Lake is on your left when you’re going south and going into Chicago is south. Coming home, you keeprepparttar 101683 Lake on your right. The suburbs were laid out on a grid, long before planned communities, and it’s one area where you can turn right, right, and right again and get back to where you started from. (When I moved to rural North Carolina and tried this, I ended up in another county!) Now, on this particular occasion I was going torepparttar 101684 ballpark forrepparttar 101685 first time, and my Dad was telling me how to get there. He carefully gave myrepparttar 101686 instructions, drawing me a map on a piece of paper, and said, “Now when you get to XXX, instead of turning left as you always do, you’re going to go straight ahead.”

I said I got it and was ready to head outrepparttar 101687 door. Just before I did, he said, “Just remember: Resist all urges to turn left.” I said “okay” and headed out.

When I got torepparttar 101688 turn, I saw what he meant. Straight ahead looked like a dead end. If I was sure of anything, it was that I should go ahead and followrepparttar 101689 hundreds of cars swinging left. Only my father’s “resist all urges” kept me going straight ahead, and on torepparttar 101690 ballpark.

Andrepparttar 101691 fact he phrased it that way piqued my curiosity. “What’s that?” I thought. So I remembered.

I also felt very close to him asrepparttar 101692 turn appeared. This isrepparttar 101693 sort of engagement you like to have with someone you’re learning from or working with. I thought he was really something to have anticipated how I would be feeling.

TAKE HOME POINT: We are more likely to get someone’s attention, to convince them, and to motivate them by engaging their emotions.

Saying “Do not turn left” putsrepparttar 101694 negative in your mind, raises resistance, and may be forgotten. Saying “turn right” may also be forgotten when needed, especially since he’d grown up there, driving that drive a thousand times, and obviously had done it himself. He had NOT resistedrepparttar 101695 urge to turn left, and knew all about it. This is a small example with small consequences.

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