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resource box is included with a live link to my site. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated. ***********************************************************Title: DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE WHO SUFFERS FROM DEPRESSION? Author: Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW Email: mailto:editor@overcoming-depression.com Copyright: by Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW Web Address: http://www.Overcoming-Depression.com Word Count: 978 Category: DEPRESSION - FAMILY - HOME LIFE
DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE WHO SUFFERS FROM DEPRESSION?
Relationships in which one individual is depressed are nine times more likely to divorce. Wow, normal divorce rate is already over 60% nationally! But, it's not always a spouse who is depressed, sometimes it is a child or an extended family member.
In this article, however, we'll be focusing on depressed partners. Most people agree that marriage should be 50/50. We all know this is an ideal, and, with ebb-and-flow of marriage, percentages slide up and down but should do so in both directions. For instance, one week wife gives 70% and husband 30% and another week husband give 80% and wife 20%. This is way "ideal" marriages work.
Unfortunately, this is not case when chronic depression enters marriage. Let's say that husband has chronic depression. The wife may pick up many of tasks that would customarily fall to husband. Depending on how long this goes on, an avalanche of negative momentum begins.
The longer this process goes on, more wife begins to feel resentful, hence, there is less compassion for one struggling with depression. Yet, for wife, it's like being a single mother while married. I've been told by many spouses that it would be easier to be a single parent than to live with a spouse struggling with depression, because it's like having a special-needs child in addition to all other responsibilities.
I do not make any of these remarks to assign blame or heighten anyones sense of being victimized. It's very important to understand that EVERYONE suffers when depression attacks a loved one. Blame only functions to create animosity and distance between two loved ones.
Sometimes spouse of a depressed partner becomes depressed as a result of living within a "depressed lifestyle" for too long. Depression is said to be contagious and can become a shroud over spouse or family. It's also vital to consider that depression may not only be genetic, but it can also be taught. You heard me right. For instance, our children's most powerful classroom is home. Both "Nature and Nurture" contribute to depression.
Depression works its way into your moods, attitudes, behaviors, tone of voice, posture, life outlook, personal hygiene, work ethic, spiritual beliefs and so on. If you live in a "depression atmosphere" you are constantly modeling and teaching how to be depressed. I hope this serves as inspiration for change, not shame. Shame only feeds power of depression.
The first step in a plan of action is to know that it is actually depression that you're dealing with. I won't go into those details here. You can find those answers at website listed in my biography below.
