Many times when an angry or rageful man comes into office to see me for first visit, he is in a deep crisis. Such was case with Jerry. He was in “deep doghouse.” He was separated from his wife and she had filed for divorce. A man is in “deep doghouse” when his wife is very angry and most of communication is her expressing anger, displeasure and criticism of him.

Although Jerry was deep in doghouse, he was what I call an eager customer. He was not interested in spending session explaining to me how he was right and she was wrong. Neither was he particularly interested in exploring his psychological make-up or that of his wife.

Jerry was an engineer with 20 years at a big oil company. Often, therapists complain of engineers because they are slow to get in touch with their feelings. However, engineers are my favorite clients because they put pressure on me to provide something that works and works quickly. He wanted something to prove to his wife that he was making a dramatic change.

We discussed importance of abstaining from 15 behaviors that trigger rageaholics. Jerry said that he would work to control his behavior. He said that he would not be in this predicament if he had been abstaining from these behaviors all along, especially profanity.

The next week he said that things were no worse with his wife and he had not lost his temper. I complimented Jerry on his good work. He had done a great job of not exploding, even when his wife was cursing him and calling him names. Jerry went to great lengths to stop his profanity, name- calling, mocking and threatening, and he even kept a quiet voice.

When I asked him what he wanted to get out of next session, he said, “I want to learn how to stop arguing with her, if that is possible.” He said that they kept having very long arguments that went on for hours on phone. I told Jerry that there were three words that would stop any argument: You are right.

One is that after 9/11 many departments have increased patrols. The additional police presence is to assure public that efforts are being taken to prevent terrorist attacks like recent sniper killings. The other reason is that cities and states are faced with budget deficits in these tough economic times. Since traffic tickets are a politically correct form of taxation, many jurisdictions are increasing fines as a means of balancing books.

A traffic officer will cost his department average of $75,000 per year while he can be expected to issue between $150,000 to $200,000 in speeding ticket citations. There are few businesses that can equal that rate of return. Some towns like New Rome, Ohio and Waldo, Florida take in over 70% of their entire town budget through speeding tickets.

What does this mean to you, safe driver who has not received a traffic citation in years? It means that you are now more likely than ever to see those dreaded blue lights flashing in your rear view. If that does happen you need to know that true cost of a speeding ticket has changed drastically in last few years.

Consider Mary, a successful sales representative who enjoys perk of a company car. She travels extensively and has received four speeding tickets in last three years. She considers herself a safe driver and in each instance was traveling with flow of traffic on interstate. She has 9 out of 12 points on her driver's license. Imagine her surprise when her company's insurance carrier refused to allow Mary to drive a company car. The company obtained supplemental insurance but Mary had to pay extra $1600.