The truth of matter is, no matter what anyone says, you can usually find some smidgen of truth in it. You can acknowledge they are right in some way.

“You are right” does not mean you agree to change anything. I say this over and over again—and it is hard for most ragers to comprehend. Someone telling me that I am selfish, self-centered and egotistical is not a request for a behavioral change. These are universal, human frailties. I make no commitment to change any behavior when I agree with my wife that I am selfish, self-centered and egotistical. It is not time to argue when you are deep in doghouse and your wife is ranting and raving at you.

When deep in doghouse, you should not explain your behavior, not defend your behavior and certainly not counterattack. Deep doghouse communication is about receiving message and validating her point of view. It is about receiving, not sending. Arguments get started when you try to send back when she is still sending. If you say, “Well, you haven’t always been around here either--How about two weeks you went to visit your mother?” that is gasoline on fire.

Many of you may be thinking, “But what if she isn’t right? Am I supposed to lie?” I suggest that you:

1. Say phrase, “You are right.” 2. Find some truth in what she is saying and agree with it. 3. Get your “but” out of way. Don’t say, “You are right, but…”

You can state your opinion when you get out of doghouse.

Families with teenagers may face an economic disaster if teen driver receives a citation. One traffic ticket for rolling through a stop sign could cost as much as $3000 in increased premiums over three years it remains on their record. The insurance industry considers young adults as teenagers until age of 23.

The purpose of relating Mary and Jeffrey's stories is not for you to feel sorry for them. It is to impress upon you severe consequences that may result from a traffic ticket. It is important to obey all traffic laws, not just for your physical protection but also for health of your pocketbook. I have found that many people are more concerned about their pocketbook than their personal safety.

What should you do if you receive a citation? Never just pay a speeding ticket. Check with clerk of court to see if you are eligible for traffic school, even if it is an out-of-state citation. Many states now accept online traffic school. Check to see if this is available in your state at http://www.trafficschoolonline.com/?lcode=4013

If traffic school is not available then you or your attorney need to appear in court to contest speeding ticket. Hiring an attorney may be your cheapest option when you consider additional cost of you insurance. Check with your insurance agent to find out consequences of original charge being entered on your driving record. The American Bar Association says: "The best way for majority of Americans to be able to assure themselves of legal assistance when they need it... is through a prepaid legal plan." For nationwide legal services contact http://www.prepaidlegal.com/info/carolynpatterson

Drive safe and stay out of "No Zone." Remember if you got it a truck brought it.

The author is not an attorney and this is not legal advice.