Socrates knew it all along. If you want to succeed in life you must “know thyself.” This is first step for everything and for anybody who wants to make a difference in his or her life. The ability to listen to our own emotions, wants, desires and needs is as important as listening to others. In addition, putting understanding of your emotions (and those of others) into practice is equally important. There are times all of us want to lash out at our superiors or peers for violating our boundaries, not “getting it”, interfering with our projects, crossing line, stepping behind our backs, taking advantage of our absence and simply playing old and cold business game.

Those are only natural feelings. Everyone has had them from time to time. However, what you DO with those feelings and emotions is what counts. Controlling your anger and frustration and learning to perform more productively under stressful circumstances is defining factor.

Unfortunately, changing your emotional response to others is considered a “lifestyle change”. And, as we all know, those are most difficult to implement and maintain. If changing unproductive habits were as simple as being aware of them, we'd all be living ideal lives. Changing habits and behaviors takes more than awareness and self-knowledge. This is why traditional training (such as books, audio tapes, video training and workshops) often falls short in creating long-term change. They don’t offer a consistent support system… one thing that is vital to maintaining new behaviors.

I recommend that you find a mentor or coach to assist with this process. After all, there is an elegant beauty apparent in people that can remain calm when no one else can. Aristotle said, “Anyone can become angry - that is easy. But to be angry with right person, to right degree, at right time, for right purpose, in right way - this is not easy.”

The insights below will help you lay down a solid foundation for managing your emotions and progressing forward in your career.

1. Be Prepared This is not just motto of Boy Scouts. Preparation is single most important element in successful negotiations. In negotiations, information is power. The more relevant information you have, better your position is. Preparation for your negotiations can not be overdone. Allow yourself adequate time to prepare prior entering any negotiation.

2. Understand The Needs Of Your "Adversary" Your "adversary" in this context is other party in negotiation. Your relationship with this party may not normally be described as adversarial, for purposes of this discussion we will view negotiation as an adversarial relationship.

Put yourself in your adversary's shoes. What would they like to gain from negotiation? Write down as many possible goals as you can think of. Prioritize your list in order that you believe your adversary would. Identify items you are willing to negotiate and those items which are nonnegotiable.

3. Know What Your Needs Are What do you need out of negotiations? More money? More flexibility? Better opportunities? Access to broader markets? Make a list of those things you would like to receive as a result of negotiations. Refine and prioritize your list before starting negotiation. Identify items you are willing to negotiate and those items which are nonnegotiable. This list and one created above will allow you to know what your true "bottom line" is.

4. Most Negotiations Involve On Going Relationships With exception of large purchases, most negotiations involve parties involved in a long term relationship. Whether relationship is family, friends or business associates, it will be necessary to continue to deal with your "adversary" outside context of negotiation. Always be sensitive to potential impact of your negotiations on these relationships.