One of most important parts of Personal Mastery is ‘Self Acceptance’. This is much more than usual ‘self esteem’ issues that we hear about, although that’s a part of it.

Self Acceptance is about accepting yourself completely, exactly as you are RIGHT NOW. For most of us this isn’t as easy as it should be. We’ve been taught that we have to achieve certain things or be certain things, and that we shouldn’t feel satisfied with who we are until we’ve done so. In reality we’re NEVER finished as there will hopefully always be more to learn and new ways to grow. So when, exactly, are we supposed to feel good about ourselves?

Popular culture would have you believe that all you need to feel good about yourself is right car, or right clothes, or right beer. In fact many of our culture’s self-esteem problems are intentionally created by media and businesses that advertise there. How often have you seen an ad and thought “I really need to update my style”, or “I really need a new car”? Do you really? Hey, maybe sometimes we do. I have to admit that my habit of wearing sweatpants, t-shirts and sandals wouldn’t go over well when making advertising sales calls for videos or magazine, and I do in fact, really need a good car. As usual question in our society is ‘how much do we really need’? For instance, I don’t need Armani suits to sell advertising for a holistic magazine, and I can get by very well with a reliable older car. The difference here is word ‘need’ versus word ‘want’. We’re taught that we ‘need’ certain things to feel good about ourselves, and that’s key issue. I don’t care if you buy a new Mercedes 3 times a week if that’s what you want to do and you can afford it. However, if you feel like you ‘need’ to buy or do anything in order to feel good about yourself then that’s an issue that needs to be addressed.

Integrating my dark side was a fairly torturous process for me, partly because I made it harder than it had to be. Apparently I do that a lot. :) One of problems at time was my inability to get out of my own way and I continually tried to micro-manage process rather than giving in to it and going where it wanted to take me. Part of that was from my own misconceptions about light and dark and my reactions to them. Many of us spend a long time trying to suppress various elements of our light and dark sides partially because we're taught to believe that light is 'good' and dark is 'evil' as if 2 extremes didn't exist in all of us. For example, a lot of healers tend to shy away from dark side and when it does manifest it's usually in some context that healer may be shocked by or ashamed of. Thereafter healer may have a negative connotation with dark side of their being. Sometimes these connotations can come from events that happen when we're small children or even possibly be hold-overs from past lives. It's important to find examples of dark and light that can be manifested positively and enjoyably as everything has to balance and it’s unnatural for us to always be one or other. Music, dance, theatre, movies, martial arts and sexuality are some of ways that you can find positive examples of both dark and light. In reality you can find positive examples anywhere, these are some that I personally enjoy. This is where self awareness part of kundalini awakening comes in. You have to know yourself well enough to become comfortable with all aspects of your personality, and to find creative ways to balance your proclivities. If you spend all day giving reiki treatments and listening to soothing new age music then take some time in evening and pop in a suitably dark movie or some nice dark music on stereo. If you choose music then turn off lights, close your eyes and do some moving meditation and ecstatic dancing. You might be surprised at what you’re able to clean out of your system this way. What’s important here is to learn to be comfortable with your dualities, and then get beyond them. This can be a journey of self discovery that can take you places that you didn’t know you could go.

Dealing with Negativity Once you begin to become comfortable with your dualities you can begin to associate with positive (good for you) light and dark traits and abilities. Keeping a positive mindset is extremely important here as you’re pushing your comfort levels to new extremes. We usually lump negativity into ‘Dark’ category, but having a negative attitude isn’t a positive dark trait.  Remember that this is all about developing your own sense of personal mastery. When you give in to negative feelings and emotions then you are giving away your personal power.