“I just can’t seem to get along with this person!”

Every office has that one difficult person to work with, who affects productivity due to a terrible attitude, chronic tardiness, or simply drives everyone else up wall. Here is answer to common problems in conflict management. Dealing with negative behavior, whether at work or at home, can be solved with three steps:

1. Get to heart of matter. 2. Determine what problem-solving methods to avoid so you don’t perpetuate conflict. 3. Choose a different, surprising approach to solve problem and keep it solved.

Finally, here is your key to some peace and sanity in workplace, drawn from forty years of research and professional experience in consulting on prevention and management of nonproductive behavior.

How difficult behavior is reinforced:

People use same solution that never brings new results. The answer is to try something radically different. Employ a totally new approach and choose your response carefully.

Why we fail to change negative behavior: 1. We are caught in web of our own logic. 2. We don’t realize we are doing same things over and over. 3. We can’t think of anything better to try.

This three-question formula can lead you to a new strategy: 1. What is primary problem? Be specific. How exactly does it affect productivity? 2. What have you been doing about your problem so far? Identify logic of your favorite solution. 3. What do you need to do instead? You need to undo what your ineffective solution did. Attack with a brand new set of weapons.

Focus on facts. Figure out what heart of matter is: 1. List all issues affecting you. 2. Decide which issue or who in particular is bothering you most. 3. Encircle issue or person’s name on your list. 4. Focus on what you circled. List all things that bother you about this person. 5. Now pick problem to work on. If you could only fix one item on list, and had to live with all others, what would you choose? 6. Then with particular problem chosen, spell out specifically: Who is doing what that presents a problem, to whom, and how is this behavior a problem?

"Marketing" is How You Show Others How You Can Help Them, Including Selling Yourself for Jobs and Promotions

by Richard Stooker

Many people, especially including techies, look upon sales and marketing as disgustingly selfish.

Having been taught to be good girls and boys who take turns and do things because they're right, we don't want others to think of us as so nakedly self-interested. At best, some of us realize that sales and marketing are evils necessary to functioning of a capitalistic system.

So when we hear that if we're seeking a job or a promotion we must "sell ourselves," we inwardly rebel. Few of us actually do a good job selling ourselves. Those who do get more and better jobs, more and better promotions and make more money.

And rest of us consciously or unconsciously sneer at them for being "selfish."

I say, opposite is true.

"Selling ourselves" to others is unselfish reaching out to other people, to show them how we can help them.

Because to simply *assume* that employers should be able to understand from our resumes how great we are is true selfishness.

Let me explain.

Good marketing brings benefits of good products and services to attention of people who need or want those products or services.

When you truly don't want to buy a new car, a car ad on TV is a signal to fix a snack.

When you want to buy a new car, you watch. You want to know which make and model best fills your needs and desires.

Assuming that a business is selling a good or service which is of true value to somebody, it is their DUTY to bring it to attention of people they can help.

Good sales and marketing is UNselfish, because to be effective it must center on needs and desires of people who want that product or service.

Bad (ineffective) marketing says, "We're a wonderful company and you should buy our product because it is so wonderful."

Good marketing (and by "good" I mean *effective*) says, "Our product is wonderful because it will help you do this, solve that problem and feel good."

See difference? Good marketing is centered on customer and helping customer solve a problem or meet a need or desire. Bad marketing is centered on company and product.