Bolstering Beliefs

Written by Louise Morganti Kaelin


At some time in your life you have probably used affirmations or other positive self-talk to change an attitude, opinion or behavior. The more you have done this, repparttar more you know that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

What makesrepparttar 130623 difference? Why are there times when you only need to sayrepparttar 130624 affirmation once and your whole life changes? And yet you repeat other affirmations religiously for days, weeks, months and sometimes even years and nothing happens?

I believe thatrepparttar 130625 difference between positive affirmations that work and those that don't arerepparttar 130626 underlying beliefs you hold regardingrepparttar 130627 topic at hand. If, for example, you want to experience a loving relationship and your underlying beliefs supportrepparttar 130628 idea that you are lovable, thenrepparttar 130629 door opens to allow a relationship in. If, however, you don't really believe that you are lovable, or worthy, or good enough, that belief will negate allrepparttar 130630 positive energy you expend to create a loving relationship.

It is interesting that negative beliefs don't stop us wanting or desiring something. It's also interesting that repparttar 130631 belief is stronger thanrepparttar 130632 desire. I think it's because our beliefs are much deeper, living as they do for repparttar 130633 most part in our unconscious. They often come from our parents and our childhood experiences, particularly from our interpretation of those messages and experiences.

The best way to figure out if this is going on in your life is to make a list of those items you have 'actively' desired and that you still have not been able to create. Then, think aboutrepparttar 130634 beliefs you would need to have in order to support those desires. That's what I'm calling 'bolstering beliefs'.

The following exercise is a good way to get atrepparttar 130635 underlying negative beliefs in order to change them.

1. Draw a line downrepparttar 130636 middle of a piece of paper, dividing repparttar 130637 page into two columns.

What Causes Holiday Stress?

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long asrepparttar author resource box atrepparttar 130620 end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

Title: What Causes Holiday Stress? Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 708 Category: Family Relationships, Emotional Healing

WHAT CAUSES HOLIDAY STRESS? By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration when friends and families get together to share food, fun, gifts, and love. They are supposed to be a time of giving, caring and connection when we celebrate important and meaningful events.

Why, then, are they often so stressful and what can we do to make them more fun and peaceful?

Changingrepparttar 130621 holiday season from stressful to peaceful depends upon one thing: INTENT. Your intent is whatever is most important to you in any particular moment or situation.

At any given moment, we are always in one of two intents. Put in simple terms, it is either more important to you in any given moment to:

1) Be loving to yourself and others, or 2) Get love and approval

Your intent determines your behavior and your feelings. Let’s take an example.

Peggy is married with two children. Peggy grew up in a family where she was trained to define her self- worth through other’s approval – that is, Peggy believes that if others value what she does, she is okay, but if they don’t, then she is unworthy and unlovable. Therefore, Peggy’s almost constant intent is to get love and approval. She does this by trying to do everything perfectly –repparttar 130622 house has to be perfect,repparttar 130623 food has to be perfect, she has to get everyonerepparttar 130624 perfect gifts. She believes that if everything is perfect, she can have control over how others feel about her and she will getrepparttar 130625 approval she believes she needs to feel worthy.

The problem is that trying to do everything perfectly creates a lot of stress. Whatever means we use – whether it be perfection, compliance, anger or blame - we will always be stressed whenrepparttar 130626 intent is to have control over getting love and approval.

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