That was a pivotal realization for me. I subsequently learned what commitment means and how it shows up for me. Maybe this is on my mind now because I'm coming up on a significant wedding anniversary-- my first. That aspect of my life is working well. What about parts that aren't?

I recently had to cancel two workshops because not enough people had signed up. Certainly beautiful weather and/or frightening world circumstances may have been factors. But I wonder how much of lack of interest was generated by me. For both events I had created a design that was about 80% complete and I stopped there. I had main ideas worked out but didn't finish final agenda or produce handouts. Was this prescience or a self-fulfilling prophesy? Are people not committing to me because I'm not committing to them? Which is cause and which is effect?

“Your purpose is something you want to do and do because it expresses who you are”.

By Robert Allen

“Nothing changes until you get to truth” by Brendan Nichols

I stumbled across these two quotes other day and they hit a nerve and brought up a number of questions and thoughts, most important one being “What is my truth and what I want to do?”

To get what you want in life you have to be very clear about what it is you want without any doubt or conflict in your mind. Doubt and conflict will trip you up every time causing all sorts of sabotage problems.

It is very easy to confuse what we think we want with what other people think we should have. Believes and opinions about life come in from external sources. It might be that certain things are considered a social norm and so we may feel pressure to confirm without even realizing it. Or it could be that our desires are really desires of our parents or partners.

For example as a single, thirty something, never-married female I feel certain social pressure to find a partner and settle down. For years I felt a little like a failure

because I did not have a steady partner in my life. I took on this external pressure and thought it was my own. But when I am calm and centered and being totally honest with myself and in touch with my truth I know that having a partner is not what I truly desire.