Be Kinder and Gentler to Yourself

Written by Virginia Reeves


While plans are important, we need to remember thatrepparttar most important thing we must do is to take care of ourselves. An aerobic instructor once told our class that her resolution was to be kinder and more gentle in how she treats herself.

I like that idea and it falls right in line with one of my favorite acronyms * IALAC * I am lovable and capable. If you believe that idea it will be easier to be good to yourself. Why should you be good to yourself? Because you deserve it.

There are probably many tasks you do that are taken for granted by you and those you interact with. Be good to yourself and say, "I did a good job with that." Take pride in your accomplishments and don't be embarrassed to give yourself a compliment. You don't have to wait to receive one from others.

Reward your efforts in any activity withrepparttar 130852 thought that you are expanding your horizons and your personal growth cycle. Therefore you deserve a pat onrepparttar 130853 back, a bouquet of flowers, a night onrepparttar 130854 town, a shopping trip, or whatever gives you pleasure.

Be gentle to your emotional state. Watch out for self talk messages that are not positive. It seems to be far easier to put ourselves down for non critical errors of judgment or mistakes than it is to tell our mind that we are special, worthy, and lovable. Your emotions can rule your behavior and thoughts if you allow them to. You are what you think and what you think governs how you act. Take care with those thoughts.

Be kind to your body. Many of us over indulge duringrepparttar 130855 holidays and then punish ourselves with diets and excessive exercise. Take it easy on yourself. Slow and steady is good advice to practice. It's best to keep to a sensible program that you will not get tired of too quickly. Many of us have given up by Valentine's Day - and then we lay a guilt trip upon ourselves on a day that is supposed to express love.

Healing The Abandonment Wounds

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long asrepparttar author resource box atrepparttar 130851 end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

Title: Healing The Abandonment Wounds Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 1080 Category: Relationships/Emotional Healing

HEALING THE ABANDONMENT WOUNDS by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners forrepparttar 130852 past 35 years and authored eight published books. Every individual I’ve worked with has had some abandonment wound to heal, and most relationship problems stem from abandonment wounds.

It is not possible to grow up in our society without some abandonment wounds. The following are some ofrepparttar 130853 ways it can occur:

o Being torn away from mother at birth and put into a nursery.

o Being left to cry in a crib or playpen.

o Being given up for adoption or being left in foster care.

o Being physically and/or sexually abused.

o Being emotionally abused - ignored, yelled at, shamed.

o Being pushed aside atrepparttar 130854 birth of a new sibling.

o Having a parent or caregiver who is emotionally unavailable.

o Being unseen or misunderstood by parents or other caregivers.

o Being lied to.

o Being unprotected by a parent or caregiver.

o Being left alone in a hospital during an illness.

o Losing a beloved parent or grandparent at a very young age.

o Divorce.

o Being teased or left out with siblings or peers.

o Being ridiculed by a teacher.

o Being forgotten - not being picked up from school or other places.

o Being left at a young age to care for oneself, a parent, or other siblings.

When we are deeply wounded at a young age, we cannot handlerepparttar 130855 pain, so we find ways to dissociate fromrepparttar 130856 intense feelings. Then, later in life, especially when we fall in love, these old wounds can get activated. Our beloved gets angry, withdraws, gives attention to someone else, says mean things, doesn't tellrepparttar 130857 truth, doesn't stand up for us, comes home late, wanders away in a crowded public place, misunderstands us, and so on - and suddenlyrepparttar 130858 pain that has been pushed aside all these years comes roaring torepparttar 130859 surface. We think that we are reacting torepparttar 130860 present situation, but what is really happening is thatrepparttar 130861 old, unhealed abandonment wound has been touched off. We might find ourselves suddenly enraged or falling apart with intense tears. Our reaction seems too big forrepparttar 130862 situation, yet we cannot seem to stoprepparttar 130863 inner pain. We might start to shake violently asrepparttar 130864 old terror finally erupts.

We want our beloved to takerepparttar 130865 pain away by stopping his or her behavior. If only he or she would not dorepparttar 130866 thing that activates these feelings, we would be fine. Yet until we actually heal these old, deep wounds, we will not be fine. We will always be vulnerable to having these wounds activated.

Healingrepparttar 130867 abandonment wounds does not happen overnight, yet it does not have to take years either. Step one is to tune into your feelings with a willingness to take responsibility for your pain. Once you are aware that deep pain has been activated, seekrepparttar 130868 help of someone who can hold you and nurture you while you go intorepparttar 130869 abandonment pain. If no one is available, hold a doll, bear or pillow, and bring in love torepparttar 130870 hurting part of you. Open to your concept of God or Spirit and allow this source of love and strength to nurture you.

Cont'd on page 2 ==>
 
ImproveHomeLife.com © 2005
Terms of Use