Back in the Saddle

Written by Jennifer Lester


The single parents' guide to dating again.

Going through a divorce is hard. Getting back intorepparttar dating scene can seem even harder. You have been out ofrepparttar 130028 scene for a while now and are not sure how to get back in. Let alone, back in with kids in tow.

When I first found myself back inrepparttar 130029 dating scene after having my daughter and getting divorced, I was excited and scared all at once. I didn’t think that I would be able to find a good man that would be willing to take me on with my daughter inrepparttar 130030 picture.

Sure, it is harder to date when you have kids. You don’t have as much time to go out to meet people. It takes time with you away from your kids and you have to spend your money to pay for a babysitter. Sure seems like it would be much more rewarding to be shelling outrepparttar 130031 dough to spend time with someone you already find special than to be out looking for that person.

That is why I turned to online dating and would definitely recommend it to other single parents. With online dating you can get to know people fromrepparttar 130032 comfort of your own home with your children tucked quietly into bed. I spent many a night with my Amarretto Sour onrepparttar 130033 rocks in hand and my music playing inrepparttar 130034 background chatting it up withrepparttar 130035 newest “prospects” that I was meeting through my personal ad or through one I had responded to. My social life was enriched overnight and I loved it.

Then camerepparttar 130036 time to go out an meet face-to-facerepparttar 130037 men that I found “worthy” of my time andrepparttar 130038 hard earned money that I would have to payrepparttar 130039 neighborhood babysitter. I followed my 6 Simple Rules for Internet Dating for my safety, but what aboutrepparttar 130040 safety of my child?

As parents, we are always protective of our kids. Their emotional and physical health meansrepparttar 130041 world to us. It is even more important that you protect your personal information such as your address and home phone number when you first meet someone. After all, it doesn't just give them access to you that you may not want them to have, it also gives them access to your children. Don’t give it out until you have met them face-to-face and are certain that you feel comfortable with them. There is no fail safe way of knowing for sure that someone is a good person. Listen to your intuition! It is a powerful tool. You can also have someone checked out at Check My Mate.com if you want to check all their possible criminal or marriage records.

You don’t want to leave your children completely out of it either. If someone is special enough for you to continue spending time with, they should be special enough to spend time with your kids. You shouldn’t be wasting your time with someone who can’t love your children too. After all, when it comes to marriage or any long-term relationship you are a package deal with your children.

Compassion – A Powerful Doorway to Personal Growth

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long asrepparttar author resource box atrepparttar 130026 end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

For other articles which you are free to use, see http://www.innerbonding.com

Title: Compassion – A Powerful Doorway to Personal Growth Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2004 by Margaret Paul URL: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 874 Category: Personal Growth

Compassion – A Powerful Doorway to Personal Growth By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

What if there was one choice you could make that would change everything in your life forrepparttar 130027 better? Actually, there is. It’srepparttar 130028 choice to move out of judgment and into compassion for yourself and others.

Compassion is defined as a deep caring forrepparttar 130029 pain of others, often accompanied by a desire to help. There is nothing that feels more wonderful and comforting than experiencing another’s compassionate response to our painful feelings and experiences.

However, it’s interesting that compassion is never defined in terms of oneself. Yet, compassion is one ofrepparttar 130030 greatest gifts we can give to ourselves. In fact, when we give compassion to others but not to ourselves, we often end up feeling alone, worn out, and uncared for.

Jackie is a good example of a person who has compassion for others but not for herself. She is a very caring mother and wife. She listens compassionately to her husband’s work problems and does all she can to help him, even when she is having her own work problems. She is always there for her children, helping them with whatever problems arise, as well as for her co-workers. Everyone sees Jackie as a very loving person – and she is. So why is she often unhappy? Why is she often so fatigued and depleted? The problem is that Jackie is completely out of touch with her own feelings.

Jackie is so focused on meeting everyone else’s needs that she never tunes into herself and her own feelings and needs. She doesn’t know when she is tired or when she needs time for herself. She doesn’t know when she is feeling sad, lonely, or anxious. Because she has no compassion for herself, she finds herself using food to fillrepparttar 130031 inner emptiness that isrepparttar 130032 result of not taking loving care of herself.

Richard, onrepparttar 130033 other hand, lacks compassion for both himself and others. While it may seem as if he has compassion for himself, he also is not tuned into his own feelings. It seems like Richard has compassion for himself because he does what he wants – buys what he wants, goes after what he wants, spends timerepparttar 130034 way he wants. But his choices are coming from his fears and his addictive need to fill up from outside with things and approval rather than from love and compassion for himself. In addition, he is usually unconscious regardingrepparttar 130035 effect his behavior has on others. He keeps people waiting, doesn’t do what he says he is going to do, and becomes judgmental rather than compassionate inrepparttar 130036 face of another’s difficulties. Instead of caring when his wife is tired or needs help, he gets resistant and resentful that she isn’t there for him or is asking something of him.

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