Emotionally you have to consider how every one of your actions will affect your child. Are they old enough to understand dating? When I felt that a relationship was ready to move to next level, I would allow that person to meet my daughter. I would always introduce them as just a friend and affection would be off limits in front of her. When she got older, I was luckily able to explain about dating to her and fact that every man I dated was not necessarily going to be her “Daddy” (her birth father is a "dead-beat dad" with no contact). You have to be up front with them at whatever maturity level you think they can handle. You also have to listen to them. Believe it or not, your kids may have a better sense of whom is right for you then you have yourself. After all, they are not blinded by lust or love that you are in middle of at that moment.

Listen to and respect your childrens' opinions. That doesn’t mean that you have to instantly dump someone your kids don’t like. After all, your kids may still be hurting from your break-up with their Father and like most children, they are still hoping two of you will get back together. However, you should keep in mind feelings of your kids. Do you want to possibly marry a person your child doesn’t like or trust? I dated a man once that my daughter told me she didn’t like. She could never put her finger on exactly why, it was just a feeling. It turned out that feeling was justifiable and he really did turn out to be a jerk. The first time she met my current husband, I tucked her into bed and she whispered in my ear “this is a good one, Mom. You need to try to keep him.” She was 10 years old at time. Now she is about to turn 13 and that man is about to adopt her. Gotta say…she was right!

So, like I keep saying in other articles before this one…listen to your heart. You will know when it is time for someone to meet your kids. You will also know when your kids are ready to meet them. Just remember: your child’s wellbeing is more important than your busy social life. Keep in mind, though, that when you are happy, they will be happy too.

A lack of compassion for oneself and others is a major cause of inner and relationship unhappiness. In terms of personal growth, if you were to just focus on making compassion your highest priority – both for yourself and for others – you would find yourself progressing toward happiness, peace and joy more rapidly than you can imagine.

We move into compassion for ourselves when we know that we have very good reasons for our feelings and behavior, and into compassion for others when we know that others also have very good reasons for their feelings and behavior. These good reasons are fears and false beliefs that we have absorbed from our growing up years that create our painful feelings and our defensive behavior.

Moving into compassion is a process that takes time and practice:

1. Moving into compassion for yourself starts with noticing your self-judgment. Judgment is opposite of compassion. When you judge yourself, you are telling yourself that you are wrong or bad for your feelings or behavior, rather than that you have good reasons. Each time you realize that you are judging yourself, consciously open your heart to compassion for yourself. When your intention is to be compassionate rather than judgmental, you will discover that it is not as hard as you think to shift from judgment to compassion.

2. Moving into compassion for others is similar. Begin to notice your anger, irritation, judgment, resentment, or resistance toward others. These negative feelings are opposite of compassion. Once you notice these feelings, you have choice to open to caring, understanding – to compassion.

3. Each time you find yourself in judgment for yourself or others, instead of judging yourself for judging, move into compassion for judgmental part of you. If you judge yourself for judging yourself or others, you will stay stuck. If you embrace with compassion judgmental part of yourself, you will find yourself gradually becoming less judgmental and more compassionate.

Each time you are compassionate with yourself and others, it becomes easier next time. You will discover that focusing on compassion for both yourself and others will move you toward peace and joy you are seeking. It all comes from your intent – to protect against pain with your controlling behaviors, such as anger, blame and judgment, or to learn about loving yourself and others. When your deepest desire is to become a loving human being, opening to compassion is a powerful doorway to that path.