Are You a "Right-Fighter"?Written by Dr. Shawn Byler
Do you find yourself struggling to "win" arguments? Do people ask you why you always have to be right? Does conflict you engage in typically end with you having last word, but no one feels good about argument? Do arguments you engage in usually escalate to shouting and anger? If you have said yes to any of these questions, you are likely a right-fighter! What is a "Right-Fighter" A right-fighter is someone who struggles to win arguments, even if they doubt their own view. A right-fighter is someone who gets overly emotional or angry when people do not agree with them and their opinions or beliefs. A right-fighter is someone who insists on having last word in an argument or refuses to back down no matter what.Challenges of Being a "Right-Fighter" 1) People who are right-fighters, (or those who are driven by need to be right), have their value or worth literally attached to outcome of being right. On a very deep level, a right-fighter believes that if she is not agreed with then she is not valuable, lovable and/or worthy. The "right-fighter" desperately believes (unconsciously) that others must agree with her to feel ok about herself. Being a right-fighter causes you to depend upon others for your self-esteem and worth. 2) Right-Fighting is an acceptable form of violence or aggression. Because right-fighting pattern usually ends up one sided and includes a winner and a loser, effects are similar to those of physical abuse. Learned submission on part of children and often other parent/spouse is inevitable. "Right-Fighting" is in fact a form of emotional abuse. A right-fighter parent is particularly harmful to children because child is made to feel like "loser" and that his or her opinions are not valid or important. Right-fighting is a direct reflection of low self-esteem. And unfortunately low self-esteem of one steals development of strong self-esteem of others. Negative Outcomes of "Right-Fighting" Women ~ Loved ones around a right-fighting women experience consistent feelings of defeat and learn to seriously doubt their capabilities, lovability and value as a human. The result is often alienation.
| | Respect is a Four-Letter WordWritten by Laurie Hayes
One of most important needs for every human being is need to be respected. It doesn’t matter if you or anyone else is a corporate executive, host of your own television show, short-order cook, Wal-Mart greeter or stay-at-home parent. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect regardless of occupation, gender or social status.If you want to succeed in your chosen profession, create a loving family environment, improve a relationship, find your soul mate, or just improve quality of your personal life, make a conscious commitment to practice showing respect in everything you do and everything you say. Respect is by-product of a four-letter word … L-O-V-E Love is one emotion, however we express it on different levels for different people. We love our significant others, children, friends, co-workers, and parents in different ways, yet we still love them. Respect plays a HUGE role in building people’s self esteem, increasing energy levels, motivating and promoting well-being. Regardless of who we interact with, it can be expressed on one level alone and does not have to be tailored to suit relationship. Respect can be demonstrated in a variety of ways:
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