The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as
author resource box at end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.Title: Are You Present With Your Children? Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2005 by Margaret Paul URL: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 662 Category: Parenting
Are You Present With Your Children? Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
How often are you fully and completely present when you are with your children? One of greatest gifts we can give to our children is to be fully present with them. This can often be a big challenge.
When my three children were growing up, I worked full time as a counselor, wrote books, traveled on book tours, and pursued my passion as an artist – in addition to spending time with my husband. The only way I could be fully present when I was with my children was to set aside “time alone” with them. “Time alone” was daily quality time I spent with each of my children, doing whatever they wanted to do. During this time I did not answer phone or deal with many issues of running a household. It was time set aside to be fully present with them, not even thinking about other things.
The message you give to your children when you don’t spend quality time being fully present is that they are not important. When answering phone, or getting things done, or thinking about what you have to do tomorrow is more important than being present with your children, they get message that being with them and really knowing them is not very important to you.
When I was growing up, my mother was always busy. She never had time to just be with me. She never wanted to know about my thoughts and feelings, or about how things were going at school. She never had time to play with me or just hang out with me. While she said that she loved me and that I was important to her, I never felt it. Words don’t cut it when actions don’t follow.
