When people talk about a crisis they’ve weathered here are some of things they say have resulted.

1.Change in priorities.

It’s common after you go through a crisis to look at things differently. One thing it often does is show us how fragile life is. If we have lost someone, or nearly lost our own life, or something important, we take a look at our lives and figure out what really matters. You also have a different relationship with time.

2.Dealing with emotions differently.

You tend to come out of a crisis being more willing to express your motions, and to understand those of others, and relate with more compassion. Crises often extend our awareness of our emotions because we’re flooded with so many, and trying to sort through them all teaches us new levels. It raises our tolerance threshold.

At same time, we understand importance of listening to others. To know pain and suffering means you can understand these in others better. Many counselors, coaches and therapists have gone through some sort of trauma. This is one way in which they become such a good listeners.

3.Resilience.

Weathering a storm teaches you a lot about weathering storms. The next time something comes along, you can look back on skills you used to get you through last one. You can also learn from your mistakes. Just as a sailor’s skills aren’t really tested in harbor, we learn new things when we’re tested. You find out you are stronger than you ever thought possible.

4.Draw closer to people and understand community.

You find in a crisis how wonderful people can be. Some people may let you down, but others will come forward.

5.New interests.

Our brain consists of three brains, reptilian, or primitive brain; limbic brain; and neocortex. Furthermore, neocortex, thinking brain, is divided into two parts – a left and right hemisphere.

The reptilian and limbic brains deal with emotions. The reptilian deals with lower ones needed for survival, such as territorial aggression and defense, sex, and disgust. These feelings are automatic, and beyond our control. The limbic brain deals with higher order emotions, such as parenting and social responsibility. They are also automatic, as you know, if a child has assaulted your preschooler on playground and you are overtaken with rage.

The neocortex , thinking brain, consists of two parts – left and right hemispheres. We each have both, but generally one is dominant. It is always dominant unless you have worked to develop other side of brain. It will always be one you revert to under stress.

The left brain is analytical, logical, linear and factual. It deals with words as words, and tends to see trees, not forest.

The right brain is holistic, sees patterns, creative, metaphorical, and intuitive. It tends to see forest and not trees. Right-brained people tend to pay attention to tone of voice, nuances and nonverbal expressions rather than actual words being spoken.

You can see difficulties in communication here. If you have one person who is very right-brained trying to communicate with someone who is very left-brained, discomfort on other person’s part can be physiological and real.

In best-case scenario, if you’ve worked on your emotional intelligence, you have developed both hemispheres of brain. The advantages to this are numerous. In relationships at home, in your social life and at work, you can simply communicate better. Not everyone can switch their style of communication, but if you can, you will have a crucial advantage in communication.

If you’ve ever listened to someone try and present a case when they’re using wrong “language,” you know what I mean. For one person, saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” can clinch deal. To another, they will become upset and ask you to “stick to topic please.” Metaphor works with some people and not with others.