To take advantage of last days of autumn, we planned an outdoor Halloween party at our family farm. This gave us an opportunity to bring our friends together in an informal setting before hectic holiday season.

The kids grew excited as we drove past harvested fields of rural farmland, grazing cattle, and brimming roadside stands. The sights and smells of country awoke their spirits of adventure and they burst from car as soon as we stopped at end of dirt road.

As they explored their surroundings, adults began to set up. Our party centered on activity of making scarecrows. We brought out baskets piled high with faded denim coveralls, straw hats, and flannel shirts. The children enthusiastically costumed themselves as well as scarecrows. They collected autumn grasses and flowers and wove them into straw hats to take home as mementos.

1. Carrying Message Between Parents

A child doesn't like feeling that he or she must act as a messenger between hostile parents or carry one adult's secrets or accusations about another. Children want parents to talk with each other so that messages are communicated right way and so that children don't feel like they are going to mess up.

Parents must take responsibility to talk directly with each other, especially if topic is likely to anger other parent. It is unfair to make your child carry messages to your "ex" because you find it too awkward or aggravating to do so yourself. It is also poor parenting to show by example to your child that you can resolve a problem with another person by not communicating or to suggest to a child that other parent is such a monster that you cannot speak or be civil with each other.

Wherever possible, communicate directly with other parent about matters relevant to children, such as scheduling, visitation, health habits, or school problems.

2. Getting Involve With Money Issues

Avoid arguing and discussing child support issues in front of children. How would you feel if you are that child hearing mom and dad arguing about your financial support? Most children upon hearing these things feel that their existence is some kind of parent's burden.

Who will pay for what and how available money should be spent are adult issues that parents must discuss directly. Do not put your children in middle of your child support disputes.

3. Hearing Criticisms Of The Other Parent

It hurts a child very much to hear one loved parent criticize other loved parent. Children see themselves as half of each parent. When children hear bad things about one parent, they hear bad things about half of themselves. If they hear bad things about both their parents, they feel that both halves of them must be of little worth.

Even if you are sure you're right, try to avoid criticizing other parent around kids, and try to find good things to say, or don't say anything at all.

The following is a list of destructive remarks that you should not make to your child. If you find yourself saying words like these, stop and think about their impact on your child.

· You're lazy/stubborn/bad tempered, just like your mother/father. · Your mother/father put you up to saying that. · Your dad/mom doesn't love any of us or he/she wouldn't have left us. · You can't trust her/him. · He/she was just no good. · If she/he loved you, she/he would send your support checks on time. · Someday you'll leave me too, just like your father/mother.

All of these remarks raise fear and anxiety in children.