1. Decide what you want to say before event. Review it in your mind to make sure it sounds okay. Keep rehearsing it until you can say it with conviction and confidence.

2. Consider your potential listeners. Who will you be talking to and which topics of conversation will be welcome? You need to make sure your message matches your audience.

3.Be yourself. The worst mistake is to pretend you are something you are not. People will see through you and distrust everything you say. Even if you communicate clearly and with confidence.

If you think success, happiness and love are going to happen without learning through mistakes along way you are mistaken.

Our brains are wired to learn from our own experiences as well as those of others. Without experience how are you going to learn anything?

Let me give you an example. At my local bank a number of weeks ago I attempted to make small talk with cashier and she completely ignored me.

Last week I was in bank and tried my small talk routine again, and again I failed. She ignored me again!

There are a number of ways to view this situation:

1 My communication strategy is not working 2 I need to change my approach 3 I will learn from this experience and become better

A number of years ago I would have given this situation a different analysis:

1 She is rude and ignorant. She thinks I am a moron 2 I feel crushed by this blatant rejection 3 My confidence depends on this person liking me

Notice difference. My old outlook sets me up for pain and frustration and puts ball in court of other person. My confidence depends on how other person responds.