5. Be flexible in your approach. Different people need to be treated differently. Pay very close attention to how people respond to what you say and keep adjusting your approach until you have a good rapport with your listener.

6. Make other person focus of your attention and let him lead conversation in early stages. Let that person steer conversation onto topics that are of interest to him.

7. Anticipate what could go wrong. Then do what you can to make sure those scenarios do not occur. Adequate planning is key to performing at your best in moment.

A second point worth mentioning is that of wanting something from someone versus giving.

When you approach dealing with other people as getting something from them you will always have confidence issues instead view conversations as giving and you are back in control.

With bank cashier if I want to get something from her I focus on wanting her to accept me and this neediness will be picked up by her. She is unlikely to respond positively to this.

If instead I give what I want then I will decide to accept her. And she will receive my acceptance and likely reflect it back to me.

My confidence then is based on giving - something I am in charge of not someone else.

Now it is time for you to take this information and put it into action.

Think of a situation where you are typically not as confident as you would like to be.

If reason is due to a lack of knowledge or ability then work on that first. If you do have necessary skills then decide to take action and learn step by step from every experience.

Start with a small challenge and gradually step up to bigger ones.

Remember to use this outlook:

1 What is working and what is not working? 2 Change your approach until you get results you want 3 Decide to learn from every experience

Your confidence is under your control and is not controlled by someone else!