5 Keys to Powerful CommunicationWritten by Anthony Mullins
As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family coaching, it is critical to develop strong and clear keys for communication. How many times have you been faced with a difficult feeling or occurrence that you are reluctant to discuss with your partner? You probably thought, “If I just don’t say anything, I can get past it”?The problem is most of us can’t get past it. It simmers and swells until we near our boiling point. Finally, we explode. The problem has magnified itself beyond rational conversation. From this miscommunication comes a personal, relational and emotional mess. I have developed, tested and proven 5 very critical keys to effective and powerful communication. First, you and your partner must give each other permission to discuss your feelings and issues that arise between yourselves. This is very difficult for most people. Why? It requires respect for yourself and your partner. You must have a non-defensive and non-judgmental environment, free from hidden agendas and defenses. Forming this connection will help you to see others perspective and create a constructive environment. After we have created this new and trusting environment, next four keys will challenge and guide you to process information using a new method of constructive communication. Create a new standard and process for yourself (LTRR). What is LTRR? LTRR, code to creating and shifting perspective: Listen- We hear but we are not listening. When we disagree with someone or something, we tend to begin to formulate our reactive response long before speaking has ended. Take time to listen to all of information or view.
| | Priorities: Are You Living Yours?Written by Anthony Mullins
In Charles Dickens classic, “The Christmas Story”, Scrooge is given opportunity to examine his life and his priorities before it is too late. Upon being shown his grave by ghost of Christmas Future, he asks “Spirit, are these instances of things that will be or are they of things that might be? Is it too late for me?” How long has it been since you have examined your life and its direction? When day comes that you leave this earth, how will you be remembered?Have you ever noticed that once people have something life-changing take place in their lives, an illness, death or tragedy, how quickly their priorities change? It is amazing how instantaneously things that were so important yesterday, fail to cross their radar screens today. Why is that? It is simple really. We are instantly reminded of our mortality. For a brief moment, we are forced to stop and really take stock of our lives. Unfortunately for many of us, we don’t like what we see. These experiences cause a momentary shift in our priorities and how we view things that have meaning in our lives. Having defeating or misplaced priorities is easy. Putting them in right place is hard and learning how to maintain them in their places is an even greater challenge. I would like to share with you a few of my secrets to create and maintain a life of priorities. Let me speak from personal experience. I was a very successful business manager that truly believed that my job was my identity. I made certain that no one could question my loyalty and commitment to my job and its results. I unintentionally made certain that my entire family doubted my commitment to them and family’s success. They were in last place when it came to my priorities. There will be plenty of time later to foster family, I thought. They love me and will wait for me. I had a list of excuses as to why I needed to be at work. I had an adequate size staff but to hear me tell it, place would burn down were I not there. So, off to work I went. I needed a priority shift. It wasn’t until I found myself in back of an ambulance on verge of a stroke and a paramedic standing over me injecting me with drugs to stop my heart, that I took a real survey of my life. Do yourself and those around you a favor; take a hard look at your life and what really matters, while you can. I have always I had best of intentions, just not best planning. Many very accomplished people have said that ideas don’t fail, plans fail. I think we can relate this to our lives as well. It’s not that we are failures in our lives, our planning or priorities are misplaced. We need to plan out our priorities and set a purposeful course for our lives. Along with our own priorities, we must also recognize and respect priorities of our spouse and those around us. We are not living on a deserted island. Do not try to impose your priorities onto others. It is always best to try to work closely others and with your family on family priorities. Either in a professional or personal environment, everyone has their own priorities. Unfortunately, as hard as we try, we can impose our priorities on others. From board room to dining room everyone has priorities.
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