Think- Process information you received; all of it. Try to appreciate their perspective. What are strengths and weaknesses of this perspective? Is it morally acceptable to me? How does this fit or clash with my perspective.

Reframe- Ask yourself questions to help you get clear on a new or different perspective. A question such as; what is your perspective on this that is giving you trouble? What perspective could I take from this that would lead to a more empowered position?

Respond- Finally it’s time to respond. Notice that it doesn’t say react. Respond implies thought and reasoning. Organize your thoughts and your perspective. Share it with others.

Try it. It will be difficult at first and you’ll be dying to react, but don’t. Personally, I utilize a 7 second rule. I don’t respond to new ideas and perspectives until 7 seconds after person has finished speaking. At first, I had to consciously remind myself; listen, think, reframe, and respond. Now, it just happens. It will just happen for you too.

Communication is a learned skill that requires continuous development and practice. The more we apply these tools, better we become at utilizing these skills. Just simply giving each other permission to have hurt feelings, ask for specific outcomes and communicate our needs can produce amazing results.

Why do corporations spend money on corporate retreats, team building consultants and mentoring programs? They are trying to impart company objectives to their employees to share a common vision. They are looking for ways to align their employee’s priorities to those in their company mission statement. This also holds true in our personal lives. Let me explain.

A monumental point in my marriage came when my wife and I decided that top three priorities in our life needed to be common. It seemed that all of our marital issues came back to a lack of common priorities. The priorities all seemed to be same but differed in their order. My decisions were based upon my top priority which differed from that of my wife. I am not advocating changing your priorities to accommodate your spouses, but I believe that it is critical that you have same top three priorities and in same order. Once these are discussed and committed to, you must give each other permission to hold other accountable for decisions that affect those priorities.

Having discussed and worked through our priorities, we are now better able to communicate and can recognize value of working together to maintain our priorities. Keeping those priorities in mind when we make decisions, either together or independently has led to a more purposeful life.

A teamwork approach allows for a stronger effort toward priority accountability. This type of accountability is not demanding, but respectful. As I said earlier, my wife and I have given each other permission to respectfully remind each other of times we fall short. Don’t forget to praise each other when you succeed. Be respectful instead of confrontational and encourage each other to greater levels of fulfillment in your lives.

Our individual and family lives revolve around our priorities. In fact everything in our lives is touched by our priorities. Taking ownership of your priorities will allow you to take ownership of your life today and for years to come.

The true beauty of these principles is that they are seamlessly transferable from bedroom to boardroom. Everyone has priorities and have a dream for their lives. We all have them; are you living yours?

Copyright Anthony Mullins Elite Coaching Alliance 2005