When a little boy grows up with a weak and dependent mother who increasingly leans on him in his father’s absence, he is put in an adult situation inappropriate to his years. Although in manhood he states he resents female dependency, he is used to taking role of rescuer and naturally will gravitate to women with emotional broken wings that need fixing.

In our adult relationships, we seek to create situations in which we are comfortable - regardless of their dysfunctionality. If you grew up in a chaotic home, you will subconsciously tend to chaotic relationships. Our home environment, how we were raised, is what we consider normal.

Our adult relationships follow a pattern. A simple exercise will reveal that pattern to you. Write names of all of people with whom you have had a significant relationship. Under each name, list all negative characteristics you can remember - for instance: bad temper, continually late for dates, poor money manager, etc.

After you have completed your list, review character traits that are shared by your dating partners. Circle or yellow high-lite these recurring traits and you will see emergence of a pattern.

While discussing concept of this article with a friend, she was motivated to make list and was uncomfortable with fact that these traits stood out among her three past serious relationships: aggressive personality, alcoholism, and emotional unavailability.

I helped my friend work thru her feelings about this new realization as I did with my clients. Awareness of pattern is first step to changing it. Talking about it with a therapist or trusted friend is next important step because you are then exposing this destructive pattern to light and can carry this awareness with you when you begin your next relationship.

Be assured - patterns are not etched in stone. They can be changed with awareness and work.

Wholesale warehouse shopping clubs almost seem designed for those who don't discriminate on price, who love inconvenience and inconsistency in product availability, and who want to build their afternoon or evening around a shopping trip to a single store.

Why would people build their shopping lifestyle around that type of shopping experience? Perceived value?

It doesn't make sense for my household to change our shopping style (as we had attempted) to fit wholesale warehouse club retail format if it turns out to not work for us. It may make sense for yours.

We were at dinner with some friends of ours when they told us about an online discount club with a huge variety of products and a very modest membership fee. I was expecting more caseloads of cheese snacks and a hundred dollar membership fee - but that's not what they showed us.

What we saw was a membership fee less than local warehouse club, and products that was need and use every month - orderable online and delivered to our door - without putting shopping cart dents in our car.

We checked it out. We signed up. We tried it out for several months. And every since our shopping life gets easier.

Now every month I make my shopping list online through our online membership. For first thirty days of month I build my online shopping list whenever it's convenient for me, and shortly after first of next month we find packages at our door. The next month it's same.

It's opposite of old bricks and mortar warehouse club - it takes me less time to make it work for me. It works around my shopping style, rather than forcing me to change my lifestyle to find right bargains and most convenient time to go to store.

Yes, I can still get a case of rolls of toilet paper and cheese snacks - but I never stand in line, I never have to lug my purchases through parking lot in rain or snow, and I never have to worry about finding new door-dings on my car.

The biggest benefit of membership in this club is convenience. And with life being as busy as it is for us - I have fallen in love with having my shopping list only a few mouse clicks away from completion.