This change in how we can show our care and compassion towards others applies to everyone regardless of age. Try it next time a coworker is grumbling about boss. Ask them, "Well, what do you think we should do to start making changes around here?" The next time your teenager starts sniveling about how unfair life is, ask them, "How do you propose we make it more fair for everyone involved and not just you?" When you find your spouse looking like they're close to tears, ask "How can I help you to feel better?" These types of questions get person looking forward towards a time when they might not be miserable anymore.

With little kids especially, it would really help to use these kinds of questions to mold their original understandings about problem solving. It's better to get them used to looking towards creating a life they find joyful rather than towards finding fault with world. We cannot just fix everything for them, and we cannot teach them to whine and complain. We have to teach them that it is possible to turn adversity into opportunity. We really owe it to our children to teach them how to open up and ask for help when they are overwhelmed. At same time, we have to make sure they know they will be solving their own problems. It's never too soon to teach our children how to take responsibility for what kind of experiences they are having. Help them when really need it, but most of time they just need to be reminded that they're perfectly capable of fixing it themselves.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

A few years later I began barbecuing for myself and always remembered Douglas and his flaming trees. Apart from not erecting a cardboard frame around your barbecue and keeping it well away from trees, there are some simple rules to follow to ensure that you start your charcoal barbecue in safety.

If you're setting up a barbecue for first time, read instructions carefully first.

Carefully choose where to set-up your barbecue. Make sure that it's on level ground and don't try to move it once it's lit.

Don't attempt to start your barbecue in very high winds. Not even with a cardboard frame!

Don't try to barbecue indoors. I know people that have tried to barbecue in a shed and in a garage! Extremely dangerous.

Use proper firelighters to start your barbecue. They're better than rolled up paper and won't fly away in wind.

Only ever use purpose-made firelighters and fuel on your barbecue. Never use petrol, white spirit, or paraffin. Not only is it extremely dangerous but it also taints flavour of food.

Everyone loves a barbecue but don't forget that grill gets extremely hot. Follow rules above and keep safety in mind. You'll experience a great barbecue, your guests will have lots fun and you'll enjoy yourself.

Les runs The Barbecue Hut website that provides useful information about barbecue grills and smokers, and also includes a wide selection of recipes. He is also author of The Char Grill Chat newsletter. Website: http://www.barbecuehut.com