Older children need to be included in conversations even more than young ones. For them, because they do understand, about hijacked planes and deaths in a burning building, they are afraid. It is OK if they know you have feelings too. As long as you remain adult and don’t cling to your children to make you feel better. Treat them as individuals who can think and feel. Be honest with them. It may prevent nightmares and other unhelpful ways children have of handling their anxieties.

Gather your loved ones around you, touch them, hold them, and talk. Under stress, it is important to reach out and to communicate. Even those of you of superman or wonder woman orientation must talk to your spouse, your partner, your friends, your religious mentor, a crisis hot line, a therapist, or any combination of above. Without appropriately letting out your own feelings, you can compromise your immune system and eventually get ill. Don’t risk it. You owe it to yourself to remain healthy -- for your own sake and for those you love.

The following is an insightful communication I received from a colleague. I hope you find it helpful. “Dorree -- I do have a deeply lived insight … I was a child at Pearl Harbor. I carried most awful tightly held terror for over fifty years. My trauma was less because of what I witnessed, and more because of hearing indiscriminant conversations between adults, which struck terror into my heart, since as an eight-year-old I had no context for them. The excited or even heightened affect that an adult may take for granted at times like these can pitch a child's ego into disarray. Best to you, Paula.”

Life is too hard to do alone,

Dr. D.

Dorree Lynn, PH.D.

Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner. Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.

WHAT TO DO:

1.Talk to your family, friends, or co-workers about what you have been experiencing and how you are feeling.

2.Take “loving care” of yourself: Eat healthful foods, return to exercise programs, allow yourself to take it easy, rest, listen to what your body tells you.

3.Allow extra time for usual tasks.

4.Discuss a plan for future emergencies with those close and important to you.

5.Practice relaxation techniques.

6.If appropriate, volunteer your services or make personal or financial contributions to a relief fund.

7.Reassure your children if they are frightened. They may need extra affection and physical contact with you.

8.If you belong to a secular or religious community, be involved.

9.If you believe you need herbal or traditional aids, talk to a professional.

10.Keep as much routine and stability as you can.

11.Love those you love openly and tell them how you feel. Love heals.

Life is too hard to do alone,

Dr. D.

Dorree Lynn, PH.D.

Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner. Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.