4. Self-employment. Working for yourself sounds tempting with thought of no future lay-offs and potentially high income. Unfortunately, worst time to start a business is when your resources are limited. Starting a business takes money, more money than you can imagine, to say nothing of time and effort you will invest, possibly with little monetary reward.

5. Entry level jobs. You have paid your dues through years, gaining skills, experience, and personal competence. All led to increased income and a higher level of responsibility. To step backward into work you could have performed as a teenager makes you think of yourself as a failure, that you are no longer worth anything. Try changing your perspective. Entry level work, such as fast food positions, pays minimum wage and often results in minimal worker effort and service. Since you are only doing job temporarily, you have chance to shine above your coworkers by displaying enthusiasm, caring, efficiency, and excellent customer service -- something always noticed by public. In a best case scenario, you may impress a business customer who is looking for a great employee and receive a job offer. At worst, you are bringing in some money to family coffers and if you are clever enough to select an evening shift, you days are still free to devote to job search for that position you really want.

We don’t like surprises. We don’t like confrontations. We don’t like criticism. Probably most of all we don’t like “the truth” when it promises to be about us. We have our histories, you know. I mean, did anyone ever say, “May I be totally frank with you?” and then say, “You are most gorgeous woman/excellent manager I’ve ever known.” I think not.

In point of fact, when someone says to me “May I be honest with you?” I reply, “No.” One always has that right. I’m not walking into blade of a fan voluntarily.

We use these phrases to prepare ourselves for what’s coming. But when we do, we shoot ourselves in foot, because nothing more will be heard. It’s like saying, “Stop listening.” Why lead with something that sets that up?

If you have bad news to deliver, have a heart. Have character. Do it right.

As John Powell put it, “The genius of communication is ability to be both totally honest and totally kind at same time.”

Do you know two people who can do that? Do you know even one? Could you remember to do it yourself?