Even at this point, I was not considering ending friendship. I did spend a lot of time considering possible ways to handle this problem. I literally spent months pondering problem, and what might be best way to eliminate negativity without hurting my friend. Eventually I made decision to just point out what I was hearing from her, as gently as possible, in an attempt to allow her to step back and take a look at what she was manifesting in her life.

Bad idea! It literally blew up in my face. What I got back was an acidic personal attack on my life, my personality, my financial status… it was very insulting. At first, I was shocked. Next, I was hurt. And then, I stopped and took a long hard look at entire situation. When I did, I just had to laugh! I had done it again! I had allowed a person into my life that was toxic to me, knowingly, willingly and with my eyes wide open. So much for all that back-patting I had done all those years before. I had sprained my arm for nothing.

Lessons have a way of coming back to bite us in butt when we only think we have learned them. The tricky part is that they don’t always come back in same way. They disguise themselves. If we have really, truly learned lesson we recognize them. If we only think we have learned lesson, we will fall right into trap again. I like to think now that I will be a lot more cautious next time I am thinking of allowing someone into my energy as a friend. In reality, I can only hope. I do know that toxic people can come in many guises. They will suck up your energy, depress you, upset you and make your life harder. They can be family members, friends or co-workers. However, they can only do this if we let them.

An excellent book on this very subject is People Of The Lie by M. Scott Peck. I highly recommend it.

Surely hurt feelings and heartaches do just that - hurt. We can, however, take all pieces and put them together. No, it will never be exactly as it was before it broke, but it will be. It was a part of yesterday, and today is a new day leading to future. The pieces glued together let us know that there is a continuity no matter what happens, and crack marks are a reminder that nothing is permanent. The tiny impossible to pick up pieces belong to wind and breeze of reflection will carry them away to become a part of universe. Everything has its purpose and when it breaks, we put it together as best we can, place it in a very special place, and open door to step into tomorrow.

Hurts heal, tears dry up, and feelings mend. Hearts are miraculous in that they never forget but they do forge ahead. With each day, memories are more golden and heartaches lose their sting. You need patience and like that old saying, “Give me patience and right now!” doesn’t work. Its using each day to mend, to forget and to look ahead that really counts. People are miracles looking for somewhere to happen. You can be encouragement to others and heal your own heart. A person can face each day bravely and night rewards you with rest. With a little effort and a whole lot of courage, our broken plate becomes a marker to separate past from today. It will always be there but it has a new mission, an opportunity to become a memory. Ah, memories are what golden dreams are made of. They are glitter and shine of past, and glow of tomorrow. Cherish them and love each and every one of them. The path to future will be well lit and a joy to travel. ENJOY! ©Arleen M. Kaptur 2002 June