4. Multi-tasking is an oxymoron. Don’t be intimidated by colleagues who do five things at once. Studies on “Attentional Blink” show that we don’t actually do more than one thing at a time. We switch our attention rapidly between projects. A one man band plays many instruments passably but none well. Better to be a maestro than a journeyman.

5. You don’t deserve anything you have. See # 2. Entitlement is a very unattractive quality. No matter how hard you worked or how much you planned you were never in control of outcome of your efforts. God and luck and support of others, along with your own hard work, played big parts.

6.You’re ordinary. Relax it’s a compliment. Ordinary people are reliable, industrious and consistent . Superstars are a pain in rear especially when they read their own press. Who would you rather call at 2 AM when your car breaks down - Tony Robbins or your brother-in-law Al? Imagine ride home.

7. You’re not a victim you’re a volunteer. (Unless we’re talking about a trainwreck or a typhoid epidemic). The old saw about nobody being able to take advantage of you without your permission is true. If you don’t want something to happen in your life don’t set it up in first place.

8.You’re right. Life isn’t fair. But it’s always interesting and instructive if you keep an open mind.

9.There is no meantime. No place where time stands still and standards are lowered and second best is good enough. There’s only now. What are you going to do now?

10. Gratefulness is second to Godliness. Cleanliness is waaay down list. Get down on your knees and look at your life. Oh, places you’ll go!

All those "bad" things -- smoking, overeating, gambling, alcohol, list goes on and on -- are easy ways to fill void. Smokers will be able to relate to this one -- if you've just had a fight with your family, what do you do? You go for a smoke. Smoking makes it feel like problem goes away. (I call this "smokescreen." Har har!)

I'll let you in on a little secret--the real reason it's so hard to quit is not nicotine. It's this void-filling. When you quit smoking (or any bad habit), you're suddenly faced with real life. All those stresses and needs that you've been avoiding? There they are, pulling at your coat tails, yelling, "Pay attention to me! Pay attention to me!" If you got in touch with your real inner needs and took baby steps to start fulfilling them, you would actually have little desire for cigarettes. It's true! I see it happen time and again in my Stop Smoking Coaching practice.

How do you do that, you ask? Here are some baby steps that you can start trying out now: • Next time, instead of taking that quick fix--stop. • Have a little quiet time and listen to what your insides have been trying to tell you. • Try journaling -- don't edit your thoughts, just write. • Some people find meditation and yoga to be great accesses. • Try deep breathing. • Go for a quiet, leisurely walk by yourself. • Personally, I find it easiest to just start noticing where in life I seem to be avoiding things most, or if I want something more immediate and active, doing a mindmap (a word drawing) to figure out what I'm really thinking.

For each person, key to figuring out your needs is different. Play around with it, don't give up! You'll be glad you did! Jill Binder is a Stop Smoking Coach with a 90 day program to show people how to quit smoking forever, with a 100% success rate. She has appeared on radio, television, and newspapers across Canada, including The Winnipeg Sun, C-FAX, and CFRA. You can sign up for her newsletter, "YourTurn - Turn Your Weaknesses Into Your Perfect Life" at http://www.StopSmokingCoach.ca.

You can sign up for her newsletter, "YourTurn - Turn Your Weaknesses Into Your Perfect Life" at http://www.StopSmokingCoach.ca.