God must love Top Ten lists because she made so many of them. They crowd my Inbox daily. They’re right up there in popularity with offers to refinance my house and stock up on Viagra. Top Nine Lists are few and far between and Top Eleven lists unheard of. But for seem reason there seem to be ten nifty answers to pretty much any problem or life situation you can come up with.

In search of my own Top Ten favorites I had a hard time coming up with something that hadn’t already been worked over. There seems to be a plethora of Top Ten lists designed to pump us up; increase our confidence and build self esteem. So I thought it would be nice to let some of air out. So here are my:

Top Ten Things to Build a Bridge and Get Over.

1.Nobody knows why anybody does anything. Imagine time this one will free up. You don’t need to figure out what happened to Aunt Bertha as a child to make her so mean and crabby; why your s.o. dumped you; why your neighbor ignores you. We humans are a product of our upbringing; environment, genetics and hormones. We do what we do when we do it. Let it go. Don’t take it personally.

2.Nobody owes you a thing. When you think about all time, love and attention it took to get where you are today you’ll see that you can never repay debt. Your mother and father who raised you; your teachers who pushed and believed in you; your friends who supported you; your community which nurtures you. Question is – what have you given back in return?

It's not your fault. It really isn't. You know you should stop doing it, but no matter how much you know that, and how much you try, you just can't stop!

Everyone knows how to lose weight. Don't eat fattening foods. Exercise. Everyone knows how to give up smoking. Don’t light cigarette. Yet having this knowledge just isn't enough. Sometimes even having desire isn't enough! Time and again I hear about people who get really close to quitting smoking. They can get all way down to one or two cigarettes a day, but just can't give up those last two. Many even make it all way down to zero, but cravings, oh cravings! They are wretched, those cravings. Most will go back to smoking within first few days. They can cut away most of "stuff" that keeps them glued to cigarettes, even not be addicted to nicotine anymore(!), but there is just something deep in their core that magnetically pulls them back in, like two lovers who know they are bad for each other but just can't help themselves.

What is this thing? What is at this core?

Let me take a step back for a moment. How many adults do you know who are happy? I mean really, truly happy? Think that question is foolishness? Let me ask you this. How many people do you know who love their work? I'm talkin' jump out of bed in morning, can't wait to start. Sadly, percentage is very small. Why is this?

We live in an interesting quick-fix culture. People don't really have to deal with their issues. We've got: • television • movies • shopping • toys • and hitting gym

to distract us and make us feel better. Even more than that, many people's issues are quite buried. Think of dreams that were squashed when we were young. "An artist? You could never make a living at that! You should be a doctor!" People often forget what their dreams once were.

As a result, I see an awful lot of unhappy, unfulfilled people walking around. They don't know what is bothering them, they just have that gnawing feeling that there must be more. Advertisers pray on this, selling us more and more bottles and gizmos to give us that ever elusive Happiness.