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4. BECOME AN EXPERT ON YOUR PARTNER’S NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION.
Words are clumsiest vehicle we have for communicating how we feel. The most important information is not transmitted that way. Couples who've been together a long time, love each other, and are happy, can 'read each other like a book.' The slightest glance conveys volumes to understanding 'heart'. Resource: "Nonverbal Communication," http://www.webstrategies.cc/nonverbal_communication.html . Researchers say one trait of happiest couples is they can sense when other one is sad.
5. PRACTICE SLOWING DOWN.
You can't be sensual if you're in a hurry. This is what "SMELL roses" refers to. At least once a day stop madness, stop thinking (that chatter in left-brain) and FEEL, i.e., experience through your 5 senses (not your intellect). In fact you’ll really know you’re there when you lose sense of time.
6. DEVELOP YOUR 6TH SENSE: INTUITION.
Work with a certified EQ coach to develop your Intuition and bring it more into awareness. You can then "sense" things more quickly and also tune in to your own needs, wants and desires more quickly. Intuition is your surest guide and it can be learned. Resource: "Intuition," http://www.webstrategies.cc/aintuition.html .
7. INCREASE YOUR PARTICIPATION IN NATURE AND THE ARTS.
Study great art - painting, poetry, classical music. Do this individually, and then plan "nature" outings with your partner where you can stare at stars, feel breeze tickle your hair, hear rustling of leaves or pine cones underfoot, taste a ripe, fresh passion fruit (yes!), and feel rocking of boat. Leave chatter out!
8. LEARN ABOUT MASSAGE BY READING.
Read about how to give a massage. Here are 3 free resources: How to Give a Back massage, http://www.journey-to-self.com/back_massage.htm , How to Give a Massage, http://riri.essortment.com/howtogiveama_ryta.htm, and Learn to Give a Great Massage, http://www.massagefree.com .
9. LEARN ABOUT MASSAGE EXPERIENTIALLY.
Schedule a professional massage and consider masseuse to be 'modeling' for you. Learn experientially what you like. Pay attention to total ambiance they create. If you have a good one, it should include: low lighting, restricted noise level, no talking (not a thinking thing), no jewelry, various techniques, warm, moist towels, oils, symmetry, and music such as "The Most Relaxing Classical Music in Universe," "The Pachelbel Canon with Ocean Sounds," and "Natural Sleep Enducements".
Sleep enducements? Sensual is about pleasure and relaxation, not arousal. Which leads to point number 10.
10. PONDER THIS THOUGHT: Everything is about sex except sex, and sex is about aggression.
DISTINCTIONS
Thinking v. pondering Looking v. gazing Savouring v. tasting Caressing v. touching Experiencing v. feeling Delivering v. giving Happiness v. pleasure
©Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, business programs, Internet classes, teleclasses and ebooks around Emotional Intelligence. I train and certify EQ coaches. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for information on this fast, affordable, flexible, no-residency program. For FREE ezine, email me and put “ezine” for subject line. Check out the best ebook library on the Internet - www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html .