The challenge of good parenting is to find balanced between being there for our children and being there for ourselves, as well as balance between freedom and responsibility - to be personally responsible to ourselves rather than be a taker or a caretaker.

Our decisions need to be based on what is in highest good of our children as well as ourselves. If a child wants something that is not in our highest good to give, then it is not loving to give it. If we want something that is not in highest good of our children, then it is not loving for us to expect it. It is loving to support our children’s freedom to choose what they want and to be themselves, as long as it doesn’t mean giving ourselves up. Children do not learn responsible behavior toward others when their parents discount their own needs and feelings to support what their children want. Our own freedom to choose what we want and to be ourselves needs to be just as important to us as our children’s freedom and desires.

On other hand, if we always put our needs before our children’s, we are behaving in a self-centered, narcissistic way that limits our children’s freedom. We are training our children to be caretakers, to give themselves up for other’s needs and not consider their own.

The challenge of loving parenting is to role-model behavior that is personally responsible, rather than being a taker or caretaker. This is our best chance for bringing up personally responsible children. However, we need to remember that we can do everything "right" as a parent, but our children are on their own path, their own soul’s journey. They will make their own choices to be loving or unloving, responsible or irresponsible. We can influence their choices, but we can’t control them. They have free will, just as we do, to choose who they want to be each moment of their lives. All we can do is very best we can to role-model loving, personally responsible behavior - behavior that supports our own and our children’s highest good.

Finally, he grabbed a pitcher of water and poured until jar was filled to brim. The speaker looked at class and asked, "What is point of this illustration?" The speaker listened to a number of very good responses and said: "The truth this illustration teaches us is this: If you don't put big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all."

What are big rocks in your life? Are they your spouse, children and grandchildren? Are they your work, television or gambling? Are you wasting time with things that are unimportant? What is important in your life?