The Courage to Be a Loving ParentWritten by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as author resource box at end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.Title: The Courage to Be a Loving Parent Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 716 Category: Parenting THE COURAGE TO BE A LOVING PARENT By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Most of us really don’t like it when someone is angry at us. We don’t like it when people go into resistance to helping us when we need help, instead of caring about us. We don’t like it when people withdraw from us, disconnecting from us and shutting us out. We don’t like it when people make demands on us and do not respect our right or need to say no. Many of us will do almost anything to avoid soul loneliness and pain we feel when people treat us in angry, resistant, demanding and uncaring ways. It takes great courage to stay loving to ourselves and others when faced with others’ angry and closed behavior. It especially take courage when people we are dealing with are our own children. Yet unless we have courage to come up against our children’s anger, resistance, and withdrawal, we will give ourselves up and not take care of ourselves to avoid their uncaring reactions. The more we deny our own truth and our own needs and feelings, more our children will disrespect and discount us. Our children become a mirror of our own behavior, discounting us when we discount ourselves, disrespecting us when we disrespect ourselves. The more we give ourselves up to avoid our children’s unloving behavior toward us, more we become objectified as all-giving and loving parent who doesn’t need anything for ourselves. When we do this, we are role-modeling being a caretaker. On other hand, it is unloving to ourselves and our children to expect our children to take responsibility for our well-being. It is unloving to demand that our children give themselves up to prove their love for us and to pacify our fears. It is unloving to demand that they be way we want them to be rather than who they are. It is unloving to set limits just to make us feel safe, rather than limits that support their health and safety. When we behave in this way, we are role-modeling being a taker.
| | Where Do Your Priorities Fit?Written by Don Schmitz
An expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students when he decided to do an experiment. He pulled out a large mason jar, a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one by one, into jar. When no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone in class said, "Yes."He reached under table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. The instructor then poured gravel in jar, shook it and asked, "Is this jar full? " By this time class was on to him. They replied: "Probably not," Next, he reached under table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping sand in jar until all space between rocks was filled. Once more, he asked question. "Is this jar full?" "No" class shouted.
|
