Thanksgiving and the Single Person

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach


Continued from page 1

Perception: Single people are available to do certain physical tasks. Reality: This isn’t an invitation either: “Can you come over early and help out inrepparttar kitchen. I’ve got my hands full.” What about her husband? Her sisters? As best-friend, yes; asrepparttar 129770 only working-guest, absolutely not.

Perception: Thatrepparttar 129771 only "happy" way to spendrepparttar 129772 holidays is if you are a couple or part of a family. Reality: If that were so, halfrepparttar 129773 articles onrepparttar 129774 Internet this time of year wouldn't be about how to cope with family atrepparttar 129775 annual holiday get-togethers.

Perception: That single people are miserable duringrepparttar 129776 holidays. Reality: Yes, it can be difficult if it’s their first Thanksgiving after a divorce or after a spouse has died, butrepparttar 129777 majority of single people are no more miserable than anyone else, and perhaps less so. Since being single (with grown children), I’ve hadrepparttar 129778 same levels of pleasure,repparttar 129779 same good and better holidays, but there’s one thing for sure – I’m more rested, and that in itself goes a long way.

So if you’re thinking about including a single person in your family gathering, make sure it’s because you want them there, not to fulfill a function or because you think they’d be miserable if it weren’t for your invitation. A guest is a guest, whether they’re single or married, and good manners prevail.

©Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional development. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezine. I train and certify EQ coaches. Email for info.


How to Be The Consummate Thanksgiving Guest

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach


Continued from page 1

Avoid, on your own part, complaining, war stories, off-color jokes, anything you feel intensely about, nattering on about something that might bore others, getting drunk and inappropriate, and anger. It’s a day of thanksgiving – gratitude – after all.

After you’ve settled in and visited a bit, it’s time to askrepparttar hostess if you can do anything to help. Continue spending time with each guest, and if there are kids there, take your turn at entertaining them.

When it’s time to be seated, askrepparttar 129769 hostess, “Where would you like us to sit?”

Light and pleasant conversation should continue. If you want kudos fromrepparttar 129770 hostess here’s what usually happens and here’s what you can do about it: as soon asrepparttar 129771 food is served, conversation ends. Everyone digs in andrepparttar 129772 silence grows awkward. Be prepared with something like, “Goodness, this dressing is delicious. What do you put in it?” This will getrepparttar 129773 conversation going again.

At table, be considerate of others. If it’s a big table and things are being passed, be surerepparttar 129774 salt and pepper get included. Startrepparttar 129775 gravy several times.

Special tip: at nearly every table, someone is going to be asked to sayrepparttar 129776 blessing. Might it be you? I’d be prepared, if I were you.

At most tables there will be one conversation – of course a merry one if there are children there. If a really large group, talk torepparttar 129777 people on either side of you, and those across from you. You will get cues fromrepparttar 129778 hostess.

When everyone’s through eating, look torepparttar 129779 hostess for cues. If she starts clearingrepparttar 129780 table, join in. If she doesn’t, leave everything as is.

Afterrepparttar 129781 meal, it’s time to be thinking about going home. If you weren’t told beforehand, be watchingrepparttar 129782 hostess for cues. Let’s say you leaverepparttar 129783 table and are invited intorepparttar 129784 living room to sit. Mayberepparttar 129785 game’s on in which case you’re expected to stay tillrepparttar 129786 end. Maybe it’s not, and dessert is served then, or after-dinner liqueurs and/or coffee. Thenrepparttar 129787 hostess gets up and starts clearingrepparttar 129788 table and putting things away. Offer to help, and then when that’s accomplished, it’s time to go home.

If no one gets up and conversation continues, watchrepparttar 129789 host and hostess for yawns, stretching, or if they letrepparttar 129790 conversation lapse. These are “get up and go” signs.

Then you say “Well we need to be going home now,” andrepparttar 129791 host and hostess will protest, but do so anyway, say a nice good-bye with “thank yous” and you’re on your way.

It’s nice to send a written thank you note inrepparttar 129792 next day or two.

Last thing to mention – if “the game” is a big deal for you, you’ll have to figure out a way to work around that. I was at one Thanksgiving feast whererepparttar 129793 television was not turned on, and there were some very unhappy gentlemen there, includingrepparttar 129794 one I was with. So at least considerrepparttar 129795 possibility and if it’s important to you, you’ll have to find out. You can userepparttar 129796 phraseology that doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings, i.e., “I’d love to but it’s really important to George to watchrepparttar 129797 game at …” Your hostess can then tell yourepparttar 129798 game is included, or accept your decline.

When you’re going as a guest, plan to have a good time and to make a positive contribution. Then you’ll berepparttar 129799 consummate Thanksgiving guest.

©Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional development. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezine. I train and certify EQ coaches. Email for info on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program. Start immediately.


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