Take Off the Rose-Colored Glasses When DatingWritten by Susan Dunn, MA, certified Emotional Intelligence Coach
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· Leo was always very relaxed with me, but whenever a waiter came around, or he talked about someone from his past, he was so critical, it was like he was examining them with a magnifying glass. Came day I fell under magnifying glass and was found to be ‘wanting’ just like everyone else, in tiny, little inconsequential, fly-speck ways. · Eino always called his divorce “leaving home.” I’d never heard a grown male talk that way, but I ignored implications. My friends said he was like a kid, but I just couldn’t see it until I became surrogate “mom.” · "You know how those fraternity parties are,” said Nita, referring to her college promiscuity as if it were common place. I had no idea what she meant, but I found out later on. She assumed casual sex with just about anyway was, ‘well, you know how it is.’ · Though she was always on her best behavior when we were together, Dalida referred to her secretary, her maid, and her hairdresser as “the help,” and demeaned them in front of me. · Our dates were frugal, because I’m on a budget and Annie seemed to enjoy them. I missed that all her conversation was about how much things cost, and how she noted, as people passed by, Gucci purse, or Rolex watch, or nasty “fake” jewelry. Hard as it is, try and keep your head about you – that is, don’t get “flooded” by those wonderful chemicals to point where you aren’t paying attention to little things. That’s all it is – little things. Watch how they treat all other people in their life. The Spanish also say, “What goes around, comes around.” You will have learned, or will be learning, that it’s best to nip things in bud. Yes, people can change. And yes, at middle-age we’ve all had our ‘learning experiences.’ Be mindful. Observe. Ask questions. It can save you from looking up one day and saying, “It was there all time. Why didn’t I see it?” “Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90% of all your happiness or misery.” ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr., “Life’s Little Instruction Book”
©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach™, http://www.susandunn.cc , helping people like you negotiate the turns of midlife transition. We bring the power of Emotional Intelligence to your life through coaching, distance learning, eBooks and Special Reports. Susan is the author of “How to Live Your Life with Emotional Intelligence” – http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html . Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZine.
| | Christmas Gifts Can Be a Cheating Husband’s UndoingWritten by Ruth Houston
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Beverley was ecstatic when she found s box containing a hand crafted, one of a kind gold bracelet she’d been admiring for some time. However, Christmas came and went, box disappeared, but Beverley never received bracelet. A few weeks later, at her health club, Beverley noticed a woman wearing a bracelet identical to one in box. After some discreet checking around, and finding several other clues to corroborate her suspicions, Beverly found out her husband and this woman were having an affair. Laura found a box containing a sexy satin negligee in trunk of her husband Paul’s car. He tried to pass it off as a gift he’s bought for her, but upon closer examination she saw that it was 5 sizes too small. Paul tried in vain to convince Laura that salesclerk had mistakenly put wrong size in box. But since she’d previously found other telltale signs of an affair, his excuses fell on deaf ears. Warning bells should go off if your husband gives or receives a gift of an extremely personal nature. No woman other than yourself should be giving your husband ½ dozen pairs of silk boxer shorts for Christmas -- unless it’s his mother or his sister (and even then you should check to make sure.) Also be wary if your husband gives or receives a disproportionately extravagant gift to or from any woman who is supposedly a casual friend or business acquaintance. Any unusually expensive gifts that suddenly appear in his possession during holidays should be regarded at with suspicion. Especially if he tries to pass them off as things he purchased for himself, but can’t produce any receipts. If you’ve found other warning signs of infidelity during previous weeks or months, Christmas gifts could be missing pieces of infidelity puzzle. Sit down and have a serious talk with your husband. Your marriage may be in jeopardy. Find out what’s going on before it’s too late. © 2003 # # #
RUTH HOUSTON is the author of “Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs.” For more information about the book or to sign up for her f*r*e*e Infidelity Newsletter visit www.IsHeCheatingOnYou.com or e-mail to CheatingSigns@aol.com
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