TV, Video Games, and Your Kids

Written by Mark Brandenburg MA,, CPCC


Continued from page 1

So what do you do about this issue?

How about using your gut instinct and taking a firm stand?

A while back my wife and I decided that when our kids were young we'd like them to spendrepparttar large majority of their time interacting with other human beings, not screens. We also realized that at some point inrepparttar 111239 future this may change. But because of this decision, we're sometimes looked at as peculiar by people we know.

And while it does cause some hardship, we haven't regretted it for a moment.

It simply seemed likerepparttar 111240 right thing to do.

I would challenge all parents to look at this issue and to make a decision about what kind of family culture you want. And don't base it on whatrepparttar 111241 Jones' are doing acrossrepparttar 111242 street or what popular culture tells you to do.

Make your decision, set your limits, and do your kids an enormous service by standing by your limits, no matter what. Firmly and respectfully state that, "this is what we do in our house" and then stand by it.

I don't know if video games and violent TV make kids more violent. And I don't think TV or video games are inherently evil.

I just wantrepparttar 111243 best for my kids, because they'll only be kids once in their life.



Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, is the author of 25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers (http://www.markbrandenburg.com/e_book.htm#secrets. For more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids, at http://www.markbrandenburg.com




100 Ways to Connect With Your Teen

Written by Dr. Debra Hapenny Ciavola


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52.Use natural and logical consequences, so discipline makes sense. 53.When they come home from an event ask, “How did you show good character?” 54.Teach respect for life in all forms. 55.Ask if they would like to go out to eat, run an errand, or go shopping with you. 56.Show up to watch them in their activities. Clap loudly. 57.Talk to their friends, learn their names, and let them confide in you. 58.Work together in community activities. 59.Learn more about their world. 60.Believe they can make a difference and be a success. 61.Admit when you are wrong. Be able to say, “I’m sorry.” 62.Hug them often. 63.Say, “I love you. I’m proud of you.” 64.Show your teen respect. 65.Eat dinner together four to five days a week. 66.Never berate or belittle teens in front of their friends or peers. 67.Ask their opinions. 68.Give them room to breath to balance independence with dependence. 69.Set standards in clothing while still allowing them to express themselves. 70.Talk to your teen when there is not a problem. 71.Listen carefully to what is being said as well as what is not. 72.Have daily conversations. 73.Share your concerns rather than beingrepparttar undercover cop. 74.Keeprepparttar 111238 discussions with your teen confidential unless they are involved with something dangerous. 75.Follow through on promises. 76.Allow your teen to take responsibility when you see them handling it well. 77.Forgive your teen when they make a mistake. 78.Negotiate new challenges. 79.Give your teen increasing autonomy (even if it kills you). 80.Accept all of your teen’s feelings as long as they are respectfully conveyed. 81.Schedule times to talk about unappealing topics. Do not catch onrepparttar 111239 fly. 82.Focus on what your teen did right before offering constructive criticism. 83.Make more statements rather than asking questions. 84.Talk to your teenager rather than at them. 85.Don’t over-react. 86.Accept they will have moody behavior and teach them how to deal with it. 87.Allow them to make decisions about their own lives whenever possible. 88.Remember you are inrepparttar 111240 process of “people-making.” 89.Express words of appreciation. 90.Listen with your heart. 91.Help them develop a sense of humor by telling funny stories of your day. 92.Enforce mutually acceptable behavior standards. 93.Listen torepparttar 111241 whole story before you react. 94.Use natural and logical consequences when a boundary is broken. 95.Cook together or teach them how to cook. 96.Wait up until they come home. 97.Talk inrepparttar 111242 dark afterrepparttar 111243 house is quiet and they are tired and relaxed. 98.Find out if they want you to fix it or just listen before you give advice. 99.Discover a shared passion together. 100.Remember, children become who you predict them to be.

Dr. Debra Hapenny Ciavola is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist working with children, adolescents, and adults. The author of 50 Great Tips, Tricks, and Techniques to Connect with Your Teen, she can be reached at DrDebbie@greatparentingtips.com.


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