TV, Video Games, and Your KidsWritten by Mark Brandenburg MA,, CPCC
There's been a great debate in our country for last number of years concerning violent TV and video games.There are thousands of studies indicating that there's a link between violent video images and increased aggressiveness and violence in children. There are also studies that say there's little relationship between two, and that there may even be some visual/spatial benefits that kids receive from video games. According to American Academy of Pediatrics, average child in this country will see 200,000 acts of violence by time they're eighteen. Common sense tells me this is probably not benefiting them. But truth is that it's difficult to prove exact impact that these images have on kids. For parents, this may be wrong question to be asking. Perhaps there are other issues here that would be useful to consider. As a coach who works with parents, I see frequent power struggles that come up around video games and TV watching. When I see young kids in front of a screen, I wonder about all of other things those kids might be doing. But it's extremely difficult to be a parent without "electric babysitter" these days, especially considering how busy parents are today. There is also added complication of other parents who allow greater access to video games and TV to their kids.
| | 100 Ways to Connect With Your TeenWritten by Dr. Debra Hapenny Ciavola
100 Ways to Connect with your Teens1.View adolescence as an adventure. 2.Respect their privacy. 3.Create family times around activities they enjoy. 4.Keep delicate balance between holding on and letting go. 5.Understand nature of adolescent beast. 6.Take advantage of an unexpected connection. 7.Bite your tongue. 8.Don’t take their chaotic behavior or mood swings personally. 9.Help them discover their spirituality. 10.Catch them doing something right and praise them. 11.Influence your teens’ decision making, but don’t say “I forbid.” 12.Give privileges with age and responsibility. 13.Be their mentor and ally. 14.Guide them, not manage them. 15.Be clear about expectations and consequences for not meeting those expectations. 16.Be your teen’s advocate. 17.Show true interest in their activities. 18.Expect miracles. 19.Be their parent. Teens do want rules, limits, and questions from you. 20.If your can’t police, monitor or enforce a rule, don’t have it. 21.Watch little rules that poison relationships. 22.Spend time alone with your teen. 23.Ask open ended question, such as “What are you learning in your history class?” 24.Encourage them to talk it out. 25.Actively supervise your teen’s exposure to media violence. 26.Acknowledge your teen’s fears, even if you do not agree with them. 27.Control your own behavior. 28.Talk about gangs and cliques. 29.Allow them safe and healthy outlets for their energy. 30.Use “I” statements rather than “You”. 31.Enforce important stuff, not little stuff. 32.Seek to understand what your teen is really saying rather than reacting. 33.Share something personal that relates to your years as a teen. 34.Avoid giving unwanted advice. 35.Discuss personal matters on sex and fears. 36.Give your teen impression that you trust them to do what is right. 37.Listen patiently to your teen’s reasons for wanting to do something. 38.Connect with your teen. Reflect on your adolescence. 39.Avoid lecturing. 40.Be someone they can believe in. 41.Make your home a place where teens want to hang out. 42.Talk less about media and more about real heroes in our country. 43.Make a list of ten things you like about your teen and tell them. 44.Teach them how to be compassionate, empathetic, and fair. 45.Show compassion to other teenagers. 46.Keep your face relaxed when they are telling you something you don’t want to hear. 47.Talk about drinking and its consequences. Make your expectations known. 48.Help them establish their own autonomy while maintaining a loving relationship with you. 49.Support your teen’s interests and encourage in their accomplishments. 50.Have regular family meetings in which whole family talks things over and makes decisions together. 51.Ask what worries them most about their future.
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