5. Take Responsibility for Yourself. If you feel emotionally full after listening to a grieving person, ask him or her to stop sharing. Simply saying, "I care about you and want to listen, but now is not a good time. Can I listen [give possible time]?" will do trick. Unless you let others know you are not ready to listen, you are sending a message that could be easily misconstrued. If you force yourself to listen when you can't, grieving person will sense your inability to be fully present. He or she may interpret your "vibe" as a message, something like: "Your sadness or grief is not ok. No one wants to hear about it, not even me. Please put on a happy face." He or she will likely shut down negative emotions to accommodate you. This is not good for either of you, as it makes grief last longer.

6. Allow Sadness. Emotions are not deadly. And unless your emotions are of a clinical intensity, they cause no harm and are a good and natural part of life. If you suspect clinical depression or any other mental health issue, please get help from a qualified professional. Most dark emotions, such as sadness and grief, are just as natural and healing as joy and laughter. Allow person undergoing change to feel sad; it is good for soul. It's also his or her right.

7. Don't Determine Time Limit on Another's Emotions. We often want others to hurry up and get over their emotions so that our life can get back to normal. It is not up to you to determine when it's time for another to get over his or her emotions. Emotions have their own time table.

If someone you care about is going through a transition and feeling sad or grieving, simply listen. By listening you will be giving him or her a vital gift.

If you are one going through a difficult transition and feeling sad, grieving, find supportive people to simply listen to you.

Your relationships will be richer and fuller for experience.

Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

Communicate. In mind reading, you would respond to another according to your interpretation of his or her actions. He or she would in turn respond to you according to his or her interpretation of your actions, and on and on and on.

Without mind reading and hence interpretation, logical step is to communicate. Ask questions. Share your feelings. Ask for what you want. Set boundaries. Expand your communication repertoire. As long as you are gentle and respectful, you can say almost anything to anyone without causing an adverse reaction.

This will not work with everyone immediately, but will work with most people eventually. After all, communication creates intimacy and growth, which is why we all want relationships in first place.

When you play mind-reading game you set yourself up for craziness and often for disappointment, resentment, fear and anxiety. Once you stop playing game, realize what's going on with other person is not personal and start communicating, you'll notice a dramatic change in your peace of mind and quality of your relationships.

Your Relationship Coach, Rinatta Paries www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"