Support Others in Transition

Written by Rinatta Paries

Is someone you care about going through an ending or a difficult transition, feeling sad or grieving? Are you?

Everyone experiences changes in life. With most endings and transitions -- such as job changes,repparttar ending of a relationship, orrepparttar 101997 death of a loved one -- grief and sadness are a normal part ofrepparttar 101998 process.

Unfortunately, people experiencing grief and sadness are often givenrepparttar 101999 message that they should do so in seclusion. While in public, they're encouraged to hide their emotions, put on a happy face, get on with life, etc. This is mostly becauserepparttar 102000 rest of us are not comfortable with and don't know how to deal with grief and sadness in others.

Think aboutrepparttar 102001 last time you had a conversation with someone experiencing sadness or grief. Oncerepparttar 102002 person started sharing his or her emotions, didn't you immediately want to offer encouragement, inspiration or a solution? Most of us do, and we believe we are being supportive by doing this.

But while we are busy fixingrepparttar 102003 person's problems, he or she has just lostrepparttar 102004 opportunity to be listened to. Telling his or her story and being listened to is vital during times of transition.

The following are some ideas to really help someone experiencingrepparttar 102005 grief or sadness of a transition. Followrepparttar 102006 steps outlined below and you will be giving those you cherish a priceless gift.

If you arerepparttar 102007 one experiencing an ending, grief or transition, share these ideas with your friends and family to create a supportive environment for yourself.

1. Listen Without Judgment. If your friend told you he lost a job, has financial problems or just ended a relationship, would you automatically assume it was his fault? And perhaps it was. However, even if your friend did causerepparttar 102008 change, pointing out who is at a fault does not make it any easier to bear. He knows who is at cause. Your contribution is to listen while trusting that he will ownrepparttar 102009 responsibility in time.

2. Listen Without Telling Your Story. When people are in transition, they need to talk about emotions, thoughts and concerns. It's possible you may have had a similar experience and have great ideas to share. Butrepparttar 102010 transitioning person is not ready for these just yet. He or she first needs to talk and be heard. No matter how close you are torepparttar 102011 person undergoing sadness or grief, it is not your place to provide unsolicited solutions or stop his or her pain. Share your experiences only if asked.

3. Handle Yourself inrepparttar 102012 Face of Sadness or Grief. Emotions are not contagious. If someone is sad, there is no requirement for you to also feel sad. If you take onrepparttar 102013 sadness of others, you take away their opportunity to experience their own feelings. If you become sad as a result of listening to grief,repparttar 102014 grieving person will immediately feel guilty and try to make you feel better. Listen to another's grief without taking it on and feeling it yourself.

4. Be Prepared to Deal with Your Fears. When listening to another's difficult emotions, you may experience fear. You may become afraid of someday having to deal with a similar situation and wonder how you will handle it. You may not want to hear what is being said because of this fear. If this situation were to happen to you one day, you would deal with it torepparttar 102015 best of your ability. Meanwhile, listening to another does not make it any more or less likely that something like this will happen to you.

Mind-Reading Game

Written by Rinatta Paries

For many people, dating and relationships are not about relating but about mind reading. Do you know what I mean?

When you are starting to date someone, isn't your mind busy analyzing your date's every action? Does he like me? What does she mean by that? Will he call again? Did I sayrepparttar right thing and will she take it wrong? Will he reject me or judge me?

In a long-term relationship, it can be even worse. Will she nag me when I get home? Will he listen to what I have to say? What does he really feel? What does she want?

The funny thing is that most of us don't admit to believing in psychics and mind readers, and yet we try to practice it in our relationships.

Mind reading seldom if ever works. It is simply not possible to accurately interpret another person's actions, thoughts and feelings without input from them. Mind reading damages our relationships and drives us crazy.

Are you ready to stop driving yourself crazy by trying to figure out other's thoughts, feelings and emotions? Then it's time to welcome a new life with fewer headaches, more sleep and better relationships through communication.

All you have to do is assume "it's not personal" and communicate.

Assume it's not personal In mind reading, you would assume that another's actions are a direct reflection of whatrepparttar 101996 person thinks and feels about you. The truth is that even when you are in a long-term relationship, very little of your partner's actions have to do with you. This is even more profoundly so in dating situations.

Whatrepparttar 101997 other person is doing or saying, or not doing or saying, has very little to do with you and a lot to do with his or her life experience, way of being and current circumstances.

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