WHAT is on your mind or WHAT do you really want?

WHEN are you going to find a "different" approach to feeding your Spirit?

WHEN are you going to start working on creating new positive habits?

WHERE are you going to look for "what is missing?"

WHY do you care?

Because you love yourself!

Marketing analysts like to cater to kids and target parents using a variety of feelings. Guilt and love are two biggies.

Are others imposing their belief systems on you, and what their interpretations or misinterpretations are to being a good parent?

Television, society, books, parents, and peers tell us that in order to be a good parent we must buy this particular toy or that expensive shoe. We shower our children with things they don't REALLY need, don't want, or don't have room for. We work an extra job or two so they can have best "stuff," while eating good nutritional food, love, and quality time together have become second rated.

Do you feel guilty because you don't have time to spend with your children so you shower them with gifts and things to amuse them?

Are you buying them pets to replace your love and affection?

What are you teaching your children? That an unlimited supply of money and "stuff" are theirs for asking.

If you aren't giving your children your attention, your love, or time you need to spend with them, you might feel guilty, and solve these "problems" with solution of overcompensating them with too many toys, and too much "stuff."

"Here, take these toys, this "stuff." They can give you unlimited fun, pleasure, and love. Something mom and dad don't have time, energy, or least I say, desire to do with or for you!" Pretty heavy!

In turn their toys and "stuff" becomes a substitute for you. The child learns and believes that having a lot of "stuff" signifies love and affection. This false substitute for your attention, love or time is only temporary. Children are only temporarily enlightened by all their "stuff," and will become bored, or worse, want more!

Their "stuff" doesn't make them feel good inside, something is missing- oh yeah, parents!

They grow up wanting to give what they didn't have (even if they had a lot). This is way they were taught to show love, to not feel guilty for not being there, or showing their parents they are better "providers" then they were. The vicious circle of misinterpreted beliefs starts again.

In book, What You Think Of Me Is None Of My Business, author Terry Cole-Whittaker says, "that wanting your children to have a better life than you had sounds loving and sensible but often means: "I never got love and approval I was looking for, so I want my child to fulfill my dreams. ...so he grows up with a misunderstanding of what constitutes happiness. He begins to believe that people, places, and things are source of his own good.""

Instead of showering children with "stuff "and creating bad habits, bad examples, and false beliefs, SPEND some TIME with your children.

10 FREE Things to do with your children:

1. Play in sandbox with them and build castles!

2. Play Hide and Seek

3. Play dress up

4. Take them to playground, it's fun and great exercise if you actually join in fun with them of sliding, swinging, twirling, and climbing.

5. Take a walk with them, and talk or just be still.

6. Teach them some life skills: cooking, laundry, cleaning, writing a check, balance a checkbook, planting a garden, fishing, etc.

7. Ride bikes together.

8. Play some board games with them.

9. Sit down and EAT with them.

10. Give them a hug, your love, your approval - these things will mean much more to them then "stuff." These things will not only feed their Spirit, but yours as well.

EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm sure you can think of a lot of other things. If you would like to share, please send them to mailto:overhall@chesapeake.net and I'll post them in next Balance issue.

Once you realize and accept that you are a complete and spiritual being, that you are greater than your possessions, you are complete without them, you can begin to take steps to get rid of your clutter, excess, and begin to let go and begin to get organized.

If you need professional help, get it. But remember you are only one that can change your habits of overcompensation and of false material beliefs that you think will bring you and your children happiness.

You and only you are CAUSE. You are not a victim. You have choice to get sober from your clutter.

For additional help: The Organizing and Feng Shui Wizard, Janet L. Hall, FSII has a FREE newsletter, OverHall IT! at http://www.overhall.com/newsletter.htm and many organizational products for your office, home, and computer at http://www.overhall.com/products.htm Janet is a Professional Organizer, Certified Feng Shui Practitioner, Speaker, and Author and can help you regain control of your life, your time, your stuff, and your environment.

All Rights Reserved. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy, or distribute so long as article is kept intact, this copyright notice and full information about contacting author is attached.

What are your beliefs regarding a gift given to you? Meaning, what would you like to do with your unwanted gifts?

So what does one do when they receive a gift they dislike, or don't need another one of? Do you grin, politely say thank you, and toss it onto pile of other unwanted, unused gifts? You couldn't bear to give it away to someone that could use or love it. You feel guilty if you do.

There's no one here to judge you. What do you feel like doing with all gifts you've gotten and never used?

How can you stop feeling guilty of holding on to piles of gifts that are unwanted by you but that might be treasures to someone else?

1. Stop living with fear that gift giver might inquire about their gift. As Paula Langguth Ryan talks about in her seminar, "Break Debt Cycle for Good,"..."If gift giver asks where their gift is that you have given to another, you might reply something like: So and so admired it so much or was in need that I gave it to her."

2. Choose not to feel guilty, and give up blaming others for your guilt beliefs. Today, choose your own beliefs of what you can do with gifts that are given to you.

3. Take risk today of overcoming your fear of losing relationship with gift giver, and of overcoming guilt of giving gift givers gifts away. If your relationship with gift giver is good and supportive, I believe they will not judge you but rather support you in your choice to share your gifts.

4. Replace your negative feelings, guilt and fear, with positive feelings. It's really okay to let go of things that belong to you that you no longer use or have a need for.

5. Give yourself permission TODAY not to feel guilty and to let go of all your unused and unwanted gifts.

6. Have courage to get rid of gifts that are taking up your precious space.

7. Don't judge yourself or let others judge you for sharing your gifts with others.

8. Remember gift givers aren't responsible for your happiness or your stuff...YOU are!

Tips to help you receive gifts you REALLY want:

>>Start keeping a gift list of every dream, desire, and whim of things you want or need. Don't think of cost, and please don't think you are not deserving.

>>Share your gift list when asked what you want. Don't be shy about this.

>>Be specific, if you want a particular book, list author and name of book.

>>List your sizes, and color preferences.

>>Give gift giver three to four choices with different price ranges.

>>Don't give same list to everyone.

Following above steps will lift burden of gift giver of trying to stand in your shoes, and decide for you what you need or could use. And believe me, gift giver will appreciate a gift list more then a, "I don't need anything." Don't forget to get same information from others when you become gift giver.

The things you have around you should nurture you, and give you positive energy. So, clear off tops of your closets, corners of basement, and attic of all gifts you've stashed away, never used, and give all that stuff away, today, freely, and hang your gift guilt beliefs up forever!

**** For additional help: The Organizing and Feng Shui Wizard, Janet L. Hall, FSII has a FREE newsletter, OverHall IT! at http://www.overhall.com/newsletter.htm and many organizational products for your office, home, and computer at http://www.overhall.com/products.htm Janet is a Professional Organizer, Certified Feng Shui Practitioner, Speaker, and Author and can help you regain control of your life, your time, your stuff, and your environment.

Copyright Ó 2001 by OverHall Consulting P.O. Box 263, Port Republic, MD 20676 All Rights Reserved. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy, or distribute so long as article is kept intact, this copyright notice and full information about contacting author is attached.