"He who dies with most toys wins," should read, "Those with most toys will die first!"

Why? Because of stress, worry, and debt your "toys" might be costing you.

It's quality and usage of an item that should be important. Not how many or how much you have.

Your possessions, collections, and all "stuff" you are buying or holding onto are NOT who you are.

Others and your possessions are not responsible for your happiness. Dependence upon others or your possessions will only fill your void temporarily, if at all. You will eventually become bored, feel alone, or empty, and become a victim of clutter and debt.

When you are balanced and one with Spirit you are complete. You will not have a feeling of lack or a void to fill.

We fall prey to filling up our lives with "things" because we're being fed message that "things" will bring us fulfillment.

Marketing products has become a "science," so let's briefly take a look at what marketers focus on when plotting their strategies for selling their products.

Marketing 101

Four Influences of Consumer Behavior [Source: Business, by: Griffin and Ebert]

1. Personal influences can include your personality, life style, and economic status. 2. Psychological influences can include your motivations, perceptions, ability to learn, and attitude. 3. Social influences can include family, others opinions you seek, and referrals from friends, co-workers, and professional associations. 4. Cultural influences can include your "way of living," ethnic groups with shared values, and social class (your background, occupation, and income).

These factors will not only have an impact on what products you buy but why you buy them. Sometimes one or two of these influences might outweigh others.

"Americans love to collect things, and a video collection will make a statement about your personality just as a book library does." Al Reuben, Vestron Video, Executive V.P., 1988.

What kind of a statement does your "stuff" say about your personality?

The buying process starts out same for everyone. We have a problem or a need. Rational and emotional motives are what our "buying" decisions are based on. Our emotional motives can be impulsive, spur-of-the-moment, or a sudden urge, and can include other factors, such as sociability, imitation of others, and aesthetics.

When we buy things with our emotional motives, we should ask following question: What emotions are we really trying to gratify, or replace?

According to 7th Edition of Contemporary Marketing: "Motives are inner states that direct a person toward goal of satisfying a felt need. The action is taken to reduce a state of tension and return to a condition of equilibrium.

Reduce a state of tension; create balance, harmony ... interesting.

What is "felt" need that's missing from your life? In other words, what is missing from your Spirit?

What desired state are you trying to achieve or what are you trying to replace when you continue to buy and bring or keep unneeded things into your life?

What are you truly longing for when you shop till you drop, buy like there is no tomorrow, stockpile, or hoard just in case?

What are you dissatisfied with in your life?

What are you searching for?

Are you making rational decisions when you continue to bring more "stuff" into your life, and not take anything out?

Marketers have also concluded that our self-concept or how we view ourselves plays an important role in our buying behavior. They have identified four Self-Concept Components: Real self, self-image, looking glass self, and ideal self. [Source: Contemporary Marketing, by: Boone & Kurtz]

What self-concept do you see of yourself when you go shopping?

Do you buy clothes that almost fit? Promising yourself you can lose a couple of extra pounds, only to find clothes months later, still with tags on and you still can't fit into.

Do you buy electronic gizmos and gadgets because your "peers" or friends have them?

Do you lavish yourself with toilettes to try and make you "feel better" about your life?

Do you buy "collectibles" until collections take over a room, your house, your car, and your life with hope that "one day" they will bring in "BIG Bucks?"

Do you buy because you have a credit card that's not maxed out?

Do you get all "gung-oh" about a new craft/hobby and buy best and latest gadgets for that craft/hobby to only lose interest in a month or so?

What were you trying to fill your Spirit with last time you went shopping?

The belief that all you're buying, all your stuff, will bring you happiness, joy, love, and status is a big crock! You know it and I know it. And what about others you mistakenly pass on this belief to? Your children, loved ones, friends, co-workers, and employees can get caught up in this belief because belief systems get passed around, and what you believe becomes your reality!

5 W's of Shopping: The next time you get urge to shop or shower your children with unneeded gifts stop and try to identify what is really happening.

You've heard old saying, " The best gift to give someone is something you would like or buy for yourself." WRONG! We are individuals, and we each have our own personal style, wants, desires, and needs.

But it can be so wonderful to receive a gift! Especially if gift is something you've been yearning for or needing.

And one should always accept gifts and give gifts FREELY.... without any strings attached.

If a gift giver gives you a gift, FREELY, then it belongs to you and only you. You can do with it whatever you want! It's yours; you own it now. It's now your property!

But on other hand, if gift giver gives you a gift with strings attached, then they really didn't give you a gift.

You know your gift has strings attached if gift giver:

>>Expects you to keep it forever. >>Expects to see you enjoying, using, or displaying their gift. >>Asks, "Where is such and such?" >>Asks, "Why don't I ever see you using such and such?"

Instead of a gift, they've given you fear, guilt, and a burden that you must keep their gift, carry it around, and display it.

Many fear they must hang onto gifts given to them. Even if never used. Even if they don't like it. Even if it doesn't fit their needs. Fearing by giving it away they will betray gift giver...guilt! So they continue to hang onto those gifts, even if that person is no longer in their life! Oh power they have over you.

Many times, as we get older, it's hard for others to know what to give us. Especially if you just tell them, "nothing," or "I really don't need anything," when asked what you'd like.

With responses like that gift giver has no way of knowing what you really want. And besides that, it puts them in an awkward position--What to buy you!

So gift giver buys you what THEY believe you might like or need, trying to please you, and by way, spending their hard-earned money on a "special" gift for you. Their perception of what you'd like or could use is their personal belief - not yours. Again, look at how much power you are giving a gift giver when you don't tell them what you really want!

Terry Cole-Whittaker states in her book, "What You Think Of Me is None of My Business," that there are only two types of guilt: "...real guilt and false guilt. False guilt is that guilt which is laid upon you by others in their efforts to control you and to make you responsible for their lives....Guilt-false or real-is a personal burden, it creates a vicious circle. To free yourself of guilt, you lay it on to others, who, in turn, give it back, and so on and on."

If you give away something that was given to you, and then gift giver makes you feel guilty, this is false guilt, in sense that you didn't do anything wrong by not using, displaying, or giving gift away that you should feel guilty about. It became your property, to do with what you want if given to you freely, when given to you. Period!

The next time a gift giver asks why they don't see their gift or you ever using it, then you'll know gift wasn't given FREELY.

Do you ever look for gift or inquire about a gift that you gave someone? Do you do same thing to others when you give gifts, making them feel guilty? Be aware, and stop asking. Give your gifts freely, no strings attached, no preconceived notion that they will keep and use gift forever.

Did your parents, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts and uncles, siblings, and friends give you their personal belief system regarding gifts, such as NEVER EVER get rid of a gift given to you? Sure they did and they might still!

You may be carrying around other's personal beliefs that are causing these guilty feelings:

When you were a young child, did someone scold you because you voiced your opinion of an unwanted gift or of not getting what you really hoped or asked for?