Isn’t it like game of hide-and-seek we used to play as children? Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it is a game, and a game is at least some contact, some involvement. You miss connection and try to find someway to maintain ties.

3. Spying on a cheating spouse may be an honest attempt to bring resolution to relationship. You want to know truth. You sense something does not fit. You suspect there is a breach of something. You want to know what you are up against. You are not willing to stand pat and wait.

You are a person of action. You want some sort of movement. You want to get on with relationship. You want to get on with your life.

You know that it is difficult maintaining your sanity when there might be this huge elephant that no one is talking about. You want to know truth, face truth, deal with truth and be free.

23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of house.

24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days.

25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.

26) Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.

27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.

28) Spends an excessive amount of time on computer, especially after you have gone to bed.

29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat dinner you prepared when he got home.

30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.

31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt.

32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.

33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.

34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger.

35) You get calls where caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.

36) He/she loses attention in activities in home.

37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in home.

39) She uses a low voice or whisper on phone or hangs up quickly.

40) She has a "glow" about her.

41) Atypical erratic behavior.

42) He sneaks out of house.

43) She sleeps with her purse by bed

44) She goes to store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.

45) He tells you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.

46) The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in first place.