I’ve challenged franchise, threatened exclusive territory of youth. Not that he will dwell on matter for long, I’m sure. Soon, Frank will be back in place where young people live. The intersection of Testosterone Boulevard and Estrogen Avenue, where heavy hot-rod traffic is seen as all there is to sexuality — surely that can’t be Mom and Dad steaming up windows of Oldsmobile parked at overlook, or Grandma and Grandpa, giddy from a couple of champagne toasts, groping each other in back of that limo?

Youth “knows” that it has franchise, that sex requires supple skin, firm bodies and energy galore surging into all night orgasms. “Don’t you tell us you are doing it too,” kids say, seriously shocked and appalled. “You can’t be, not really and certainly not with as much fun as we have.”

We have to understand them, forgive them their self-absorbed, hormone-propelled instincts, for they live a life of fresh discoveries. They are astronauts in uncharted space. “Yeah,” they’ll admit, “maybe you old fogies hold each other some.” But real sex, like they show in movies, like youth does it, not that, not their parents, and certainly never their grandparents.

These are thoughts, fantasies that run through my mind as I watch Frank struggling with images of his own. As if to let me off hook, but also to ease out of discomfort I have somewhat mischievously drawn him into, Frank concedes: ”OK, Dr. Lynn, you’re attractive for your age, but really you’re an old foggy.” Oh, it’s put in a light, joking sort of way. But deep in my heart I can hear, maybe not Frank, but certainly voice of modern youth, telling me and my generation: “Go away please, clear playing field, get off to back benches of a retirement community, you old foggy. Don’t tell us your are still doing it. Who do you think you are, and whom do you think you are kidding? How disgusting. Be grown-up. Behave. Act your age. Ugh.”

Life is too hard to do alone,

Dr. D.

Dorree Lynn, PH.D.

Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner. Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.

However, there are ways you can keep a family festival from turning into a family feud. Keep your expectations realistic.

1. Plan ahead and bring what you need. Know whom you will get along with and stay away from sure-fire explosive subjects.

2. Visit for a reasonable time. One meal can often be magic. After three days people tend to get on each other's nerves.

3. Help out and be part of team. But remember, host and/or hostess are ultimately boss. Their ways may not be your ways, but as adage goes: “When in Rome do as Romans do.”

4. If you have special dietary needs such as no sugar or vegetarian only, let your host or hostess know in advance. It can hurt someone's feelings if they have cooked for days only to find you won't touch their food.

5. Stay away from Uncle Joe, or keep to small talk.

6. Remember a large family gathering is not time to resolve unresolved personal issues.

7. If you must say something negative, try to speak to individual alone.

8. Go with best of intentions and good will and keep those intentions and good will.

9. Be ready to forgive. After all, that really is meaning of this special time of year.

10. Help with children. They are future and they should make you smile. Life is too hard to do alone,

Life is too hard to do alone,

Dr. D.

Dorree Lynn, PH.D.

Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner. Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.