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Then live by them:
I wanted a relationship. I went on a date with a man who had what I thought to be an unhealthy relationship with his mother. Sitting across table from him I thought, “I can fix him and show him what it’s like to be free!” As soon as that thought entered my mind, voice of reason within me asked, “Do you WANT to?” My answer was “No!” and I ended evening.
Upon hiring me, a client had identified three focus areas for his business. During a following session, he excitedly told me about a new business opportunity that could make him lots of money. I asked him to share his three focus areas with me again and then asked where this opportunity fit within them. When he admitted that it didn’t, I asked him which of those three areas he was willing to give up for this new one. “None” he replied. His decision to pass on that opportunity was not because he couldn’t do it, but because he didn’t want to give up other things that were more important to him.
Sitting in a committee meeting for a volunteer organization I belong to, I became frustrated at size of group, irrelevance of discussion to half participants, and organizational confusion. My first thought was, “I can fix it!” Then I thought about what it would take to do that. Did I care enough to make room for that project in my life? Was I willing to give up any other activities to make it happen? Did I really want that commitment? The old me would have said, “I’ll do it. Somehow I’ll make it all work.” The new me simply said, “No.”
Flooded with relief, I politely excused myself from meeting to tackle what was really important to me that day. I pointed my car toward dog park and spent next hour playing Frisbee with my puppy. Ah, life on my terms.
Susan Franzen lives in Austin, Texas and is the founder of LifeU Coaching Services. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration, as well as a Training & Development Certificate from Boston University. Susan coaches individuals to align their activities with their vision. You can contact Susan at austinlife04@yahoo.com.