Continued from page 1
You call Sue (now your friend) on classified desk. You tell her your tale of woe. She's biting her wrist to stop laughing long enough to talk to you. The conversation might go like this:-
You: "Sue, I had a terrible response to that advert."
Sue: (Sympathetic) "Oh no! Give it a bit more time. Sometimes first advert never does well because you're a new company. People need to see advert a few more times before they're confident enough to buy from you."
You: "You reckon?"
Sue: (Hardly able to control her mirth). "No doubt about it, Also, you went in on a Tuesday, didn't you?"
Sue: "I think you ought to try a Friday. It's closer to weekend, and people are more relaxed."
You: (Growing donkey ears). "Do you really think so...?"
Sue: "Definitely. As it happens, we have some space in this Fridays issue. It's a really great position. We normally charge more for a Friday, but since you lost money last time, we'll let you have it for £4700."
So you book space, and increase your money-back guarantee (or whatever). You've guessed rest. Friday comes and goes and response is about same as your last advert. You kiss another three grand bye-byes. But before this, down at classified department:-
Sue: "Here's a riddle for you, John. What company starts with "A" and has just sent me a cheque for £4700?"
John: "You're putting me on!!"
Sue: (Waiving cheque) "Tum tee tum tum!"
John: "You jammy sod!"
Now why would a nice girl like Sue take such enormous pleasure in stitching you up? Does she hate you? Did you kick her cat once, and she's never forgotten? Oh no, nothing so personal. Sue is pleased because:-
She's making a thumping ten percent commission on each advert she sells!!
And ten percent of five grand is £500. Ten percent of £4700 is £470. That makes £970 for two phone calls from you! She's probably quite a nice girl. I'm sure she buys her mother flowers on Mothers' Day. And I also know that she is having an expensive foreign holiday this year, courtesy of ACME publishing!
Neil Moran firstname.lastname@example.org Get the last website you will ever need to promote! A business in a box! mailto:email@example.com?subject=More_Info_Please