3. Return to conversation, summarize argument so far, and then ask politely what other person wants outcome of conversation to be.

These steps work because they give each of you a chance to think instead of react to what has been happening. And neither of you needs to lose face or look weak or act disrespectfully.

When you approach any conversation with your goal in mind, you are far more likely to achieve it than you are in heat of an argument. When you ask others their goals, they too must think about what they want to accomplish.

When you create a productive discussion, you create mutual respect and opportunity for excellent future relationships.

Keep your intentions obvious. Don’t write a raunchy note if you are looking for a serious relationship. Starting out communication that way can only give someone idea that you are looking for just one thing. Which is fine if you really are. You don’t want to overwhelm them either by saying something like “I am looking for a Daddy for my kids” or “I plan on being married by end of year!”. However, you do want to be clear either through your personal ad or through your contact note exactly what you are seeking.

Always be honest. At this point person you will hurt most by trying to be someone or something you are not is yourself. Be honest as you communicate with your new friends. After all, you want someone to love you for who you really are, not who you can pretend to be.

Don’t forget…use your wit. The people who use their humor get best responses and keep people coming back for more.