“What do you say to him later?

“I tell him I didn’t like his tone of voice. But he isn’t aware of it.”

“Right. He will be aware of it only if you say it in moment. Most people are not aware of their tone of voice. When you tell him about it later, he really doesn’t know what you are talking about. You need to be responding in moment for him to hear his own voice. You need to be saying something like, ‘ Carl, I hate it when you speak to me in that judgmental, parental voice. I don’t feel like being with you when you talk to me like that.’ You have a much better chance of him understanding what you are saying when he can hear his own voice in moment. And you will feel much better when you speak up for yourself in moment. You will not feel so much like withdrawing when you are not abandoning yourself in face of his judgmental tone.”

While Maria certainly didn’t like Carl’s tone of voice, her distance from him was more due to her self-abandonment than to his behavior. As long as she was being a victim and not taking care of herself in moment, she was feeling badly. It’s easy to blame Carl and think that her feelings are his fault, but her feelings were really result of not taking loving care of herself around Carl.

Marie started to speak up, not blaming Carl but just letting him know her truth. To her great surprise and delight, he finally began to understand what she was saying. He was actually a caring person and just didn’t realize that he was being parental and judgmental. The more Marie responded in moment and spoke her truth, better things got between them. Carl wasn’t perfect, but Marie found that when she spoke up instead of withdrew, they were able to deal with issue in moment. She also discovered that more she took care of herself in moment instead of being a victim – with Carl and with her friends and family - more respect Carl had for her. Some of his judgment toward her was coming from his frustration over her not speaking up for herself with her family and friends!

Preparing for Grand Opening Set up an individual table for each child next to where you will be collecting money from customers. This way you can monitor and assist each child with customer transactions if need be and protect them from unscrupulous “buyers.”

Have children set up their displays themselves. By completing this step, with your help and suggestions, children learn how to display items in a visually pleasing way that will attract customers.

Day of Grand Opening Provide each child with a change apron (available at most dollar stores) and with a small amount of change such as 2 $1.00 bills, 6 quarters, 10 dimes, and 10 nickels; i.e., $5.00 in change. This way they can collect payment for their items and if necessary, make change for customers. Children are able to reinforce their counting skills and learn how to interact with customers. Most importantly, allow your children to keep proceeds from their sale, having them put half of “profits” into their savings accounts. When children are allowed to keep proceeds from sale of their items, they are eager participants.

For Children 7 and Below:

Younger children who also wish to participate in garage sale can by selling sodas. Set up a small table with a cooler full of various cans of sodas and ice. Place a simple Soda for Sale sign on front of table. Allow your younger children to sell sodas, helping them with change counting or selling as needed. This way, they still get experience and knowledge gained by running their own “small business.”

As a child I truly enjoyed having my “own” garage sale and making money in process. These small business ventures taught me what went into running a small business from selection of goods to be sold to final transaction with customer. These life skills teach children basics of money and customer service: skills that are sure to come in handy throughout their lives.