We often turn to poetry at major transitions in our life – when we fall in love, or out of love, or lose our love. Poetry seems best vehicle, with it’s eloquence, it’s containment, it’s ability to distill. The way death of your child or face of your beloved make you feel is beyond words, and so, in a paradoxical way, is poetry.

When my son died some years ago, at age of 21,I started writing poetry, as I have at every turning point in my life. The words of Alfred Lord Tennyson reverberated in my mind:

But for unquiet heart and brain A use in measured language lies; The sad mechanic exercise, Like dull narcoties numbing pain.

Tennyson’s poem, “In Memoriam,” ends with famous lines: ’T is better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all,” which is what every parent struggling with loss of a child must eventually reconcile.

Art, music and poetry are some of ways we feel, learn about feeling, and express feelings. Indulge!

As I felt those first waves of fear course through my body, I knew I was in a dangerous predicament. Adrenalin began pumping and I swam with everything I had. Then, what seemed like a few seconds later an amazing calm washed over me. Suddenly, I was watching myself from outside and curiously wondering instead of panicking if I would make it back to shore, or if I was about to die.

My body swam, knowing exactly what to do to survive. My mind was no longer a victim of fear. I was in moment, contrary to what I had spent my lifetime worrying about; and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually quite peaceful.

What I learned from this life changing experience was two very important lessons.

1. What you worry about is never as bad as what you imagine. This goes for everything. Think about it. Have you ever had a difficult or traumatic experience and remarked to yourself afterwards that what you feared was way worse than what you actually experienced? The stories we create in our mind are ALWAYS worse than what reality delivers.

2. Worrying won’t change outcome. Regardless of how many scenarios you torture your self with; it won’t change what’s going to happen in reality. Try asking yourself this, “Am I going to change outcome by worrying? Or, “how could I better use my energy?” When you waste your energy worrying about what might happen in future you rob yourself of clarity and action you have in present.

I finally made it back to shore, shivering, nauseous, yet changed forever. I collapsed onto warm beach and laid there for a long time, tearfully grateful for my life.

The rest of my trip was amazing. I was able to fearlessly adventure into alone time and drink in richness of my journey.

Now, for me, worrying is a simple reminder to come back to present moment… and stay there!

It’s YOUR life…imagine possibilities.