Fundamentally, investing in real estate is not difficult. The concept of using rent to cover your expenses and pay you a return is not difficult. Once it is reduced to its most basic concepts, real estate can provide a significant return on investment. As a real asset, it will provide less risk than a bond or stock, and can create a continual income stream while equity and appreciation accrue.

Her shrill voice breaks my vengeful reverie.

SHE: "Well, here it is," waving it about triumphantly, "but you can't have card back. It's *not* yours, you know...you'll have to get authorization from your son...a letter...to pick it up." Emphatically, she puts card in a drawer, slams it shut. Thud! Smiling now, full set of ivories, dripping insincerity.

ME: "Huh...what?" (I know, I know...I tend to repeat myself!) But, before I could go on...

SHE: "Anyway, what happened? Why did ATM take card? Did you enter something incorrectly?" I couldn't believe her accusing tone. At any moment, I expected her to start shaking her finger at me.

I look at her blankly, but I'm thinking. Now that was funny thing about this whole mess - I'd followed everything to letter...er, number: key in PIN, hit WITHDRAW CASH, select correct account...hmmm, must be SAVINGS, Danny has no CHEQUE account, but just after I key-entered 140, ATM issued above messages and ate card. That's it...kaput! I felt that I'd just been executed. Maybe it was some kind of read error on unit? Most unlikely...the card had already been accepted - PIN, account, lot! But, what then?

ME (finally shrugging, shaking my head): "Hmmm...well, no...there's no obvious reason...that I can think of..." Brow furrows, bites lip pensively.

SHE (primly): "Never mind, never MIND, either fill this form out for a new card", handing me another bank form, as if I didn't have enough already, "or get your son to bring a letter back...and then you can get card back!" She said last with more false bonhomie, teeth glittering.

As I walked away muttering, I glanced back at large sign above area: "Customer Service Desk". Some service, I thought; more like "Customer Punishment Area - SFA (that's Self Flagellation Acceptable)"! My only option now was to return with some sort of letter to satisfy these goons and their procedures...so much for *this* bank's customer relationship management program.

That woman on service desk failed miserably at CRM: cardinal rule is that customer is always right, even when s/he's wrong. She didn't *have* to tell me that using another's PIN is not recommended; from Spitzbergen to Tierra del Fuego, everybody knows *that*, already! Additionally, she didn't even have courtesy to address me by my name...

And, to cap it all, instead of apologizing to *me* for inconvenience, she made me feel as though I had been one to inconvenience *her*. Some service, huh?

Y'see, she was intent *only* on enforcing procedure, even to my detriment, instead of trying to get to root cause of problem...which, by way, may also be happening to other customers. Even as I speak...

I was thinking about *that* as I drove back home, but put it aside, while I enlisted aid of She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed. First things first, after all: get card back, then worry about why I was card-swiped! This was going to be interesting, I thought, as I knew that Sherry had already had a run-in with personnel in *that* particular branch some months ago...

Oh, joys of online banking! ;-)

P.S. Part 2 will complete this sorry saga...

Roger Burke has been involved with computers since 1967, and has managed to break quite a few, over the years. He, and his wife Sherry, are now actively engaged in online self-publishing and promoting specific affiliate programs at http://online-wealth.com . If you have any comments or questions about this article, please send emails to mailto:webmaster@online-wealth.com . Copyright 2001, Online-Wealth. All rights reserved.