We need to remember not to use this time as a reminder of poor behavior that may have happened during day. There are plenty of other opportunities for that. This is a time to clean slate for day, to listen, and set an optimistic tone for new day. It is a time for forgiveness and for soothing hurts. You children will feel safe and secure in your love, and you will feel at peace as well.

Since my girls were very young we have said our nightly prayers together. This is another opportunity to teach our children about God, his love, and his place in our lives. I also give each of my girls a blessing every night. This is so important to them that when they are away they call at night to receive their blessing over phone. This is blessing I use:

“Oh gracious and heavenly Father, I thank you for my daughter/son (first, middle, and last name) whom I love more than anything. Please send your angels down from heaven to watch over her/him tonight, until tomorrow. In Jesus’ precious name I pray. Amen.

I understand pressures of today’s world. Two jobs, working late, meetings, and important household tasks. It is sometimes difficult to be there at bedtime for your children. We all have to make our own choices about this. Please ask yourself if choice to be at your children’s side during these short, precious, and critically important moments is right one? As parents we have a profound effect on our children in those last moments of day. I know last thing I want my girls to remember before they drift off to sleep is how much I love them, and how much they love me!

Avoiding Responsibility of Making a Decision About an Issue. Sometimes we avoid saying no because it involves us in making a decision about rights and wrongs of an issue and taking responsibility for that decision afterward. It is easier to say yes, particularly if we don’t find it easy to make decisions. Saying no puts burden on us to have a reason for refusal. If we cannot think of two good reasons for our decision then maybe we should re-think our position. We don’t always have to supply our reasons to our children. When we say yes they don’t ask why, they just accept answer because it was what they wanted to hear. However, as parents it won’t kill us to check our reasoning from time to time.

Fearful of Row, or Other Consequences, That May Follow. If you find yourself often avoiding saying no because you are frightened of power battle or retaliations that will follow, you need to ask yourself two questions.  Have I got myself into a power-contest with my child, and if so, why?  Am I letting myself be blackmailed by their threatened emotional reaction? If answer to either of these questions is yes, then you have two more questions to answer.  Who is in charge?  Who should be in charge?

Needing Approval, and fearing Rejection. Some parents may find it hard to say no because they are afraid their children won’t like them if they don’t give them what they want. They need to be liked and need to feel that their child is their friend. If you are looking for approval and friendship from your child, especially if you need it for your own self-esteem, then you are putting a huge burden on your child that they should not be asked to carry. We as parents need to be constant factor in our children’s lives. We need to be their rock of guidance and security.

Wanting to Keep Times You Are Together Free from Conflict. It is very hard for a parent who does not spend much time, for whatever reason, with their child to start being tough and causing upset. It is only natural that you want to keep those precious moments free from conflict. Non custodial parents sometimes spoil their children when it’s their weekend “on”. Working parents who arrive home near bedtime may find it hard to resist pleas for more time and attention. Our children have a way of knowing weak spot, and will exploit it for all it’s worth. To them it’s worth a lot. But giving in or being soft is not in their best interest.

We know that it can be a hard world out there sometimes. At some point in their lives our children are going to have to face it on their own. We meet our responsibilities as parents by properly equipping them to successfully meet and overcome obstacles they will surely face. Don’t send your precious child out there unprepared.