Perseverance vs. Being StubbornWritten by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach
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Evan was stubborn and withholding in his relationship with Esmerelda. He would not give her what she wanted under any circumstances. He would ask her where she wanted to go for dinner. She would say, “Mexican food.” He would say, “No.” She would ask him to suggest something and he would say again, “No, you choose.” KEY POINT It's good to persevere, and not good to be stubborn. When you persevere, you are working toward a positive goal that's attainable. You are flexible and creative in pursuing possible alternatives toward your goal. When you're being stubborn, you're either being negative to yourself (refusing to give up when you should), or to others (refusing to do what they want or to give them what they want), or to something (being in denial and refusing to face facts). BENEFITS When you persevere, you make things happen. When you're being stubborn, you don't allow anything to happen. Being stubborn accomplishes nothing. RELATED DISTRINCTIONS Being open to new possiblities vs. Saying no to new possibilities Making suggestions vs. Just saying no to other people's suggestions
©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, distance learning, and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your continued personal and professional development. I train and certify EQ coaches. Get in this field, dubbed “white hot” by the press, now, before it’s crowded, and offer your clients something of exceptional value. Start tomorrow, no residence requirement. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezine/more info.
| | Hearing vs. ListeningWritten by Susan Dunn, MA, the EQ Coach
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Jane on other hand was vitally interested in what Paul had to say about new project he was proposing. She repeated back what she thought she was hearing. She asked questions. She asked how Paul felt about this and that, and expressed her own feelings. She went below surface to see what Paul intended to accomplish. She was actively involved in conversation. She listened with her heart as well as her intellect.KEY POINT Hearing requires very active participation. You can listen to sounds, but to hear what person means, and what they're trying to explain to you takes being receptive at many levels and is hard work. RELATED DISTINCTION Feeling vs. Touching Holding v. Carrying BENEFITS You can't connect with people unless you are willing to hear, and not just listen.
©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, distance learning, and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your continued personal and professional development. I train and certify EQ coaches. Get in this field, dubbed “white hot” by the press, now, before it’s crowded, and offer your clients something of exceptional value. Start tomorrow, no residence requirement. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezine.
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